The Biggest Boston Lies Ever Told (That the Entire Country Believes)

Published On 08/02/2016 Published On 08/02/2016
red sox fans
Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock

As Bostonians, we get a lot of flak, right? Our accents, our blue laws, our second-tier city status. And with flak comes falsehoods -- lots of falsehoods. The lies floating around about our burg are as common as they are tired, so we’ve taken it upon ourselves to shoot down a few of the most egregious whoppers.

Flickr/Sarah Nichols

We're terrible drivers

Here’s the thing: we’re aggressive drivers, we’re unapologetic drivers, we’re verbally nasty drivers. But we’re not terrible, per se. Which is to say, we understand the rules of the road; we just don’t always respect them. Go to Los Angeles or some other car-centric city, and you’ll understand the difference between willfully bad driving and true vehicular incompetence.

We all speak with that Mystic River accent

Thanks, movies and TV, for casting us all as R-dropping street rats (and seriously, they never get it right -- especially in the aforementioned film). In truth, the Boston (and Brahmin) accents are far from pervasive city elements, and not all Boston accents sound alike. Also, this may come as a shock, but not everyone who lives in Boston was born in Boston -- and the Boston accent isn’t infectious.

Flickr/WBUR Boston's NPR News Station

We're home to the country's most obnoxious sports fans

Dunno, we're going to say the Phillies fan who dumped an entire soda down our friend’s shirt during a Sox-Phillies game a few years back was far worse than anything we’ve encountered from our fellow fan brethren. Awful sports fans are everywhere, and booze is everywhere. At least we pay attention.  

Bostonians are stalwart and unflappable

We feel all the feels as much as the next person. We squeal at cute dogs and cry at tragedy and profess romantic love and otherwise function as non-robotic human beings. Just because we’re not Care-Bearing it up 24/7 doesn’t make us hard hearts.


Boston is a strangely terrible drinking town

Listen, it’s not great. But it’s getting better -- a lot better. More bars stay open until 2am now, new liquor licenses are starting to trickle out, and BYOB is officially on the books. Plus, oenophiles did a tasteful little jig when the ban on shipping wine was lifted at the end of 2014 (though wineries still have to apply for a state shipping license). Listen, we grew up in a time when no booze whatsoever was sold on Sunday, so our parents had to make desperate booze runs over the New Hampshire border. It will never be worse than that.

Boston has an inferiority complex towards New York

Like, honestly? This just never comes up as much as people think it does. Especially now that the Yankees really, truly suck. We go to New York for terrific weekends away, and if we want to move there, we move there, no biggie.

We take our sports championships for granted

This one is just maddening. Do you know how GD long we waited for those? No one takes anything sports-related for granted here. If you see someone walking down the street with a little smile on their face, they’re probably replaying the 2004 ALCS. We understand our great good fortune since 2001, and just because we hunger for more doesn’t mean we forget what came before.

Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock

We're all Irish

Census data is helpful here. About 54% of Boston residents identified as "white only" in 2010, and of course only a percentage of that percent would identify as fully Irish. So... nope, not all Bostonians are 100% Irish, by any means.

We have no fashion sense

Sure, we used to have no fashion sense, like, in the ‘90s…. when no one did. But the town has gotten downright flashy in the last 10 or 15 years. OK, in the winter, North Face and L.L. Bean still abound, but that also owes to the vastness of our college-kid populace (and the phenomenal cold). It doesn’t mean we’re not killing it underneath those top layers.

Boston is an affordable city

Don’t even.

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Meaghan Agnew hates liars. Well, that's not really true. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @meaghandeth.



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