Lifestyle

The Weirdest, Most WTF Things on Craigslist in Charleston

Published On 06/09/2016 Published On 06/09/2016
A red neon sign advertising cocktails.
Grant Marek/Thrillist

A while back, we came across this story about someone listing an old CARTA bus for sale on Craigslist. Which got us thinking: what other weird and wonderful things are out there waiting for a new home in Charleston? So we armed ourselves with lots of coffee and jumped head-first into the rabbit hole to see what awaited us. Here’s what we found.

Warning: shit's about to get weird.

Screenshot via Craigslist

The world’s grossest couches

Yes, technically this person is giving them away for free, but the very fact that they think someone will want these torn-up bug nests covered in spray paint (BTW, I think they're missing some pieces?) even for free is beyond me. The best part: the poster demands you “must take both.”*

*These are shockingly somehow STILL available. Get on it (but wear a hazmat suit).

Screenshot via Craigslist

A gas mask for your underground bunker in preparation for a Trump presidency

Get ready for the inevitable nuclear winter brought on by Donald Trump having access to our launch codes with this vintage gas mask.

Screenshot via Craigslist

This neon Budweiser sign

It’s in excellent condition, which means we’re guessing his wife is making him get rid of it. But hey, one man’s trash is another man’s man cave focal point!

Screenshot via Craigslist

Homing pigeons

What on earth would someone need homing pigeons for? According to the poster of the ad, for “weddings and funerals.” Which tells us we have NOT been going to the right kinds of weddings and funerals.

Screenshot via Craigslist

A bunch of matchbooks

You know, those things bars & restaurants give out... for free. Only this person wants you to pay $25. Coincidentally the same price as those homing pigeons. Which do you think your money would be better spent on?*

*This post no longer exists.

Screenshot via Craigslist

Nightmare fuel, aka clowns

Honestly, I clicked out of this ad the second I saw the clowns so I have no idea what they’re actually advertising. But if I had to guess, “clown dolls to haunt your nightmares forever”?*

*This post has been deleted.

Screenshot via Craigslist

A majestic bronze life-size horse statue

You didn't spend your tax refund yet, did you? If not, drop $800 on this life-size bronze sculpture of a horse. No brainer, really.

Screenshot via Craigslist

A non-functional vending machine

The poster says the “dollars [sic] machine not working and I don't have the keys for it,” aka you can’t actually stock it with soda. And even if you somehow manage to get it open, you can’t use the dollar bill collector to get it to vend. So basically you’re paying for a really inefficient soda cooler.*

*This post has expired.

Screenshot via Craigslist

Your very own hot dog business

Upside: unlimited hot dogs. Downside: you have to move to Myrtle Beach. Oh, and also it costs $10,500.

Screenshot via Craigslist

This amazing birdhouse for birds that are also hipster foodies

The poster of this ad claims this birdhouse is versatile and can go “anywhere you could put artistic rooster sculpture [sic]." So you know the possibilities are endless.

Screenshot via Craigslist

A parking meter

Tired of fighting for parking in front of your historic house? Buy this puppy and put it out on the street. At least you can make a few bucks when you end up having to park three blocks away. As a bonus, you might be able to collect enough quarters to pay for a new mirror when some tourist inevitably sideswipes your car.

Screenshot via Craigslist

Dr. Who mini-fridge

For all you beer nerds who are also nerd nerds. Sure it only fits six cans, but look how cool it is!

Screenshot via Craigslist

An old tractor

You don’t have to be a farmer to appreciate how cool this antique tractor is. But if you don’t want to buy it (and you can't anymore), maybe you can photoshoot it onto your Tinder or FarmersOnly.com dating profile! Just a thought.*

*This post has been deleted.

Screenshot via Craigslist

A doll that’s most definitely haunted

No. Nope. No way. I’ve seen Annabelle.
Note to the poster: the orange emoji does NOT make this doll seem more innocuous. Look at those eyes. OMG they want to eat your soul!*

*This post now ceases to exist.

Screenshot via Craigslist

Star Trek: The Original Series on VHS

All 79 glorious episodes of the show that launched the careers of William Shatner, George Takei, and the late, great, Leonard Nimoy... on VHS. Good luck playing them in that VCR you don't have.

Screenshot via Craigslist

A bunch of old Playboy magazines

Just don’t ask why the pages are all sticky.*

*This post has been deleted. They were either sold or the poster simply couldn't part with their dirty memories.

Screenshot via Craigslist

Cool old phones

Snoopy phone? Yes, please! Although, unless you have a landline, you won’t get much use out of these bad boys.

Screenshot via Craigslist

This amazing cooler-stereo combo

OK, this is something I'd actually buy. Imagine how cool (pun intended) you’d look with this at The Washout on Folly Beach as you roll up with your ice-filled Coleman for a day of fun under the sun. It almost makes up for the fact that it would have to be filled with soda, since there’s no alcohol allowed on the beach. Sigh.*

*This post has been deleted.**
**I didn't buy it. I swear

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Sydney Gallimore is a writer from Charleston, SC whose last Craigslist purchase was a set of plastic Wii guitars for Guitar Hero. See what other shenanigans she gets into @Sydney_inc

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