Lifestyle

The Weirdest, Most WTF Things on Craigslist in Charleston

A red neon sign advertising cocktails.
Grant Marek/Thrillist

Last year, we came across this story about someone listing an old CARTA bus for sale on Craigslist. Which got us thinking: What other weird and wonderful things are out there waiting for a new home in Charleston? So we armed ourselves with lots of coffee and jumped head-first into the rabbit hole to see what awaited us. Spoiler alert: It was a lot of weirdness. So we’re back for round two this year to see what other wacky things we could find, and we definitely weren’t disappointed.

Warning: Shit's about to get weird.

old driver's license
Screenshot via Craigslist

Liberace’s original driver’s license

Who knew Charleston was the home of Liberace’s biggest fan? (Or former biggest fan, since they’re selling this on Craigslist).

blue plates
Screenshot via Craigslist

Blue plates featuring a shellshocked sea captain

Perhaps a pirate’s life isn’t for him after all.

slabs of concrete
Screenshot via Craigslist

Broken pieces of concrete

This is like the old adage “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” come to life. The poster of this ad invites you to email if you have any questions. Our main question is “what the heck does somebody need a bunch of broken pieces of concrete for?” But hey, at least it’s free!

thor
Screenshot via Craigslist

Mediocre art in an “expensive” frame

We’re not art snobs by any means, but this Thor piece looks like it was produced by a printer that needs its toner replaced. We also like that they specify that the frame is the expensive part, so maybe they’re throwing in the Thor artwork for free? We’ll never know, as this poster also didn’t include the price of any of the items.

pbr fridge
Screenshot via Craigslist

A PBR mini-fridge

If you want to create a mini version of The Recovery Room in your man cave, you definitely need this mini fridge.

elephant cane
screenshot via craigslist

A walking cane with an elephant head

Remember how Jafar had that terrifying hypnotizing snake cane in Aladdin? This elephant head walking cane is definitely your first step to being a well-dressed Disney villain... except it admittedly looks more like Mr. Burns than a pachyderm.

synthetic urine
screenshot via craigslist

Synthetic urine

Honestly, we’re more impressed that we didn’t find someone posting about *real* urine on Craigslist. Please don’t take that as a challenge.

*This post has been deleted. 

nightmare fuel
screenshot via craigslist

Nightmare fuel, aka ceiling clowns

Because who wouldn’t want a vintage, droopy-eyed clown staring down at them from the ceiling light fixture?

horse manure
screenshot via craigslist

Actual horse manure

I can’t help but think of the beginning of Tom Sawyer when Tom convinces all of his friends to paint the fence because he didn’t want to deal with it. The person behind this ad is convincing everyone that horse manure is good for them, so he doesn’t have to clean it all up. Pretty ingenious, actually.

couch
screenshot via craigslist

A really gross-looking leather couch

Ok, so we’re not saying that this couch is coming from the horse manure guy, but we’re also not not saying that.

beanie babies
screenshot via craigslist

Ty Beanie Babies

Was I the only one whose grandmother bought her a bunch of Beanie Babies claiming they were “an investment in the future. You can use them to pay for college!” And now here they are, on sale for $3 each on Craigslist. Maybe don’t take financial advice from Nana after all?

trump pen
screenshot via craigslist

A talking Trump pen

I love that the manufacturer was trying to appeal to every target market with their “laugh with / at him” tagline.

scary doll
screenshot via craigslist

A doll that “Looks and Feels Real”

No. Nope. No way. You know what they say: “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s definitely going to murder you in your sleep.”

bubblegum machine
screenshot via craigslist

Your own personal bubble gum vending machine

Honestly, I can think of worse ways to spend $20 than on a rusty gumball machine you can install in your backyard. Just think of all the 10s of cents you’ll make when friends come over to purchase gumballs from you -- it practically pays for itself!

old cellphones
screenshot via craigslist

A bunch of old cell phones

Perfect for... honestly, I have no idea how these would come in handy unless you’re trying to pretend you opened up a time capsule from 10 years ago.

A Craigslist advertisement for two disgusting couches.
Screenshot via Craigslist

The world’s grossest couches

Yes, technically this person is giving them away for free, but the very fact that they think someone will want these torn-up bug nests covered in spray paint (BTW, I think they're missing some pieces?) even for free is beyond me. The best part: the poster demands you “must take both.”*

*These are shockingly somehow STILL available. Get on it (but wear a hazmat suit).

A Craigslist advertisement for a used gas mask.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A gas mask for your underground bunker in preparation for a Trump presidency

Get ready for the inevitable nuclear winter brought on by Donald Trump having access to our launch codes with this vintage gas mask.

A Craigslist advertisement for a neon Budweiser sign.
Screenshot via Craigslist

This neon Budweiser sign

It’s in excellent condition, which means we’re guessing his wife is making him get rid of it. But hey, one man’s trash is another man’s man cave focal point!

A Craigslist advertisement for racing pigeons.
Screenshot via Craigslist

Homing pigeons

What on earth would someone need homing pigeons for? According to the poster of the ad, for “weddings and funerals.” Which tells us we have NOT been going to the right kinds of weddings and funerals.

A Craigslist advertisement for matchbooks.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A bunch of matchbooks

You know, those things bars & restaurants give out... for free. Only this person wants you to pay $25. Coincidentally the same price as those homing pigeons. Which do you think your money would be better spent on?*

*This post no longer exists.

A Craigslist advertisement for vintage glass clowns.
Screenshot via Craigslist

Nightmare fuel, aka clowns

Honestly, I clicked out of this ad the second I saw the clowns so I have no idea what they’re actually advertising. But if I had to guess, “clown dolls to haunt your nightmares forever”?*

*This post has been deleted.

A Craigslist advertisement for a life-size horse sculpture.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A majestic bronze life-size horse statue

You didn't spend your tax refund yet, did you? If not, drop $800 on this life-size bronze sculpture of a horse. No brainer, really.

A Craigslist advertisement for a broken soda machine.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A non-functional vending machine

The poster says the “dollars [sic] machine not working and I don't have the keys for it,” aka you can’t actually stock it with soda. And even if you somehow manage to get it open, you can’t use the dollar bill collector to get it to vend. So basically you’re paying for a really inefficient soda cooler.*

*This post has expired.

A Craigslist advertisement for a hot dog restaurant.
Screenshot via Craigslist

Your very own hot dog business

Upside: unlimited hot dogs. Downside: you have to move to Myrtle Beach. Oh, and also it costs $10,500.

A Craigslist advertisement for a bird feeder.
Screenshot via Craigslist

This amazing birdhouse for birds that are also hipster foodies

The poster of this ad claims this birdhouse is versatile and can go “anywhere you could put artistic rooster sculpture [sic]." So you know the possibilities are endless.

A Craigslist advertisement for a parking meter.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A parking meter

Tired of fighting for parking in front of your historic house? Buy this puppy and put it out on the street. At least you can make a few bucks when you end up having to park three blocks away. As a bonus, you might be able to collect enough quarters to pay for a new mirror when some tourist inevitably sideswipes your car.

A Craigslist advertisement for a TARDIS cooler.
Screenshot via Craigslist

Dr. Who mini-fridge

For all you beer nerds who are also nerd nerds. Sure it only fits six cans, but look how cool it is!

A Craigslist advertisement for an antique tractor.
Screenshot via Craigslist

An old tractor

You don’t have to be a farmer to appreciate how cool this antique tractor is. But if you don’t want to buy it (and you can't anymore), maybe you can photoshoot it onto your Tinder or FarmersOnly.com dating profile! Just a thought.*

*This post has been deleted.

A Craigslist advertisement for an antique dolls.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A doll that’s most definitely haunted

No. Nope. No way. I’ve seen Annabelle.
Note to the poster: the orange emoji does NOT make this doll seem more innocuous. Look at those eyes. OMG they want to eat your soul!*

*This post now ceases to exist.

A Craigslist advertisement for Star Trek on VHS.
Screenshot via Craigslist

Star Trek: The Original Series on VHS

All 79 glorious episodes of the show that launched the careers of William Shatner, George Takei, and the late, great, Leonard Nimoy... on VHS. Good luck playing them in that VCR you don't have.

A Craigslist advertisement for vintage Playboys.
Screenshot via Craigslist

A bunch of old Playboy magazines

Just don’t ask why the pages are all sticky.*

*This post has been deleted. They were either sold or the poster simply couldn't part with their dirty memories.

A Craigslist advertisement for a phone collection.
Screenshot via Craigslist

Cool old phones

Snoopy phone? Yes, please! Although, unless you have a landline, you won’t get much use out of these bad boys.

A Craigslist advertisement for a combo cooler/stereo.
Screenshot via Craigslist

This amazing cooler-stereo combo

OK, this is something I'd actually buy. Imagine how cool (pun intended) you’d look with this at The Washout on Folly Beach as you roll up with your ice-filled Coleman for a day of fun under the sun. It almost makes up for the fact that it would have to be filled with soda, since there’s no alcohol allowed on the beach. Sigh.*

*This post has been deleted.**
**I didn't buy it. I swear

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Sydney Gallimore is a writer from Charleston, SC whose last Craigslist purchase was a set of plastic Wii guitars for Guitar Hero. See what other shenanigans she gets into @Sydney_inc.