While the vast majority of Chicago residents move freely around their neighborhood whenever they need to get groceries, visit the post office, or have their dogs’ bums cleaned out at the groomer, you are often on lockdown thanks to the zombie-like hordes of Cubs fans. Do you even like the Cubs that much? Do you, really?
To hell with the Rahmfather. Your spouse wanted to move to the ‘burbs, but you put your foot down and said you’re staying in the city. No, of course you can’t afford private school for the kids -- your portfolio isn’t the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. At least Lincoln Park had decent schools. And now this property tax hike? Looks like you’re moving to Mount Prospect.
You talk a big game about all the great German spots in your neighborhood, but you haven’t even been to most of them. You usually hang out at Spyners.