Do: Pick a favorite infielder.
Treat it like a boy band. You’ve got the frontman Anthony Rizzo, the baby-faced Addison Russell, Javy “the mysterious one” Baez, and Ben “I’m the Joey Fatone in this scenario, aren’t I?” Zobrist. Hell, why stop there? Jason Heyward? Dexter Fowler? “The San Diego Delight” Kris Bryant? You can’t really lose here.
Don’t: Forget to talk smack to Cardinals fans.
This isn’t anything new, but I can’t stress its importance enough. Hating the Cardinals is as integral to the Cubs experience as singing “Go Cubs Go” after a win or buying a racially insensitive T-shirt from a vendor in front of Wrigley. (Stay classy, guy who still owns that “Pujols mows my lawn” shirt!) If you’re going to fake being a Cubs lifer, you need to HATE St. Louis. We give Nelly his props, but that’s where it stops.