"This weather is nothing."
Often said to someone from outside the Midwest, by someone who moved here 10 years ago from Michigan. We're busting out the shorts and sandals at 35 degrees.
"Tom Skilling said it'll be warm this weekend!"
If chief meteorologist Tom Skilling says it'll be warm...THEN IT'LL BE WARM
"This isn't nearly as bad as the storm back in [furthest year back you can remember]."
The blizzards of 1967, 1979, 1999, 2011, and 2015 come to mind.
"Chicago’s got two seasons."
Yeah, yeah, we get it, winter and construction.
“Shovel your goddamn sidewalk”
Shovel shame is real. Everyone’s responsible, non-shovelers are on the same plane as dog poop-leavers.
"But the summers here are amazing."
Our summers really are as great as we say they are, plus it's really the only way we can rationalize the other 265 days of unreliable weather. Here, summer is spring, spring is winter, fall is nearly winter and winter is extreme winter.