The New Yorker
Comes from: A $2,500/month flex two-bedroom she split with a roommate up in Morningside Heights but the schlepp was totally worth it because washer/dryer in-unit, sons! (Note: not worth it.) Wanted to live in RAMBO because DUMBO is dunzo, but couldn't afford it and oh god why are you even still listening to her talk?
Reason for leaving: Too rude, too filthy, too expensive, too lonely, too dangerous, too boring, too big, too small, too douchey, too gentrified, too [literally any adjective]. Tells everyone "I'll go back someday."
Loves Chicago because: It's manageable and affordable, and summers here are way better than slogging to the Jersey Shore. She can have a car! Also, pretty much anyone here will engage in the debate over who's got better pizza, which is comforting.
Hates Chicago because: It's just not New York. Makes this observation a lot.