On the Slow Roll
This weekly event draws thousands of bike riders who meet at a common point and cruise the city during the more temperate months.
Alice says... "Want to meet people with common interests and like minds? Try joining the pretentious assholes at the Slow Roll! Not only are they obnoxious and a step backwards in the evolutionary chain, but they are also exciting! Just think of all the places you can stick a flashing light!"
When Whole Foods announced its plans to open a store in Detroit's city limits, people went bonkers. Now that, three years later, Detroit is not quite the food desert it was in 2013, how does Whole Foods keep attracting so many customers?
Alice says... "Ladies, want to make your man happy? Try practicing fellatio on the vegetables at Whole Foods Market next time you shop for organic produce together!"
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For really, really awful, do-not-follow-by-any-means advice, tweet Bad Advice Alice at @BadAdvice_Alice.
Megan Frye is a writer based in Detroit and Mexico City. Tweet her your worst ideas @fryechild.