There are roughly 6.49 million people in the Greater Houston area, and roughly 6.489 million of them are douchebags. Chances are you’re one of them. Especially if you’re tripping on one of these 34 triggers that define just what kind of money-fueled, self-obsessed, screw-everyone-but-me douchebaggery Houstonians can be known for. Here’s how to tell...
1. You rock cowboy boots and a Texas flag button-down all year round
Even though you’re from Connecticut.
2. Your dad owns an oil services company and you have three middle names
You also live in River Oaks and we hate you.
3. You have a 9/80 work schedule, which you brag about any chance you get
Do you really need to Snapchat your afternoon shandy sessions every other Friday? Do you?!