I always screw it up.
I met with Adelle at a café in Studio City. It looked like a casual coffee between friends, but it was really the first step in the matchmaking process. Eventually, we turned to the task at hand: what was I looking for? And really, what was I looking for? A relationship? A future wife? A “partner in crime,” like every fifth person on Tinder? When you’re trying to date, we kind of skip this step. We think, “Well, I’ll know it when I see it.” But how do you look for it?
Adelle had a standard “intake” interview: a series of questions about me, about my dating history, my likes and dislikes. It was definitely the longest I’d thought about it in specific. Do I like funny women? (I do.) What are my dealbreakers? (Lacking kindness, for sure.) Adelle was great, totally non-judgmental about my quirks and oddities.
We got down to the nitty gritty: how much would all of this cost? TDR has two standard contracts, both of which aren’t exactly chump change: $4,000 for three months, with a minimum of three matches, guaranteed, and $6,000 for six months with a minimum of six. If the first one hits the mark, awesome. If not, you and your matchmaker will keep working until you get it right. If you don’t want to pay anything, you can be added to the TDR database for free, but you’ll only be contacted if a client matches with you. Adelle’s clients are a mix of ages, genders, races. Some are famous (she wouldn’t tell me who, obviously), some aren’t. Some come to her because they’re too busy to find someone on their own. Some, like me, are frustrated by the dating apps and sites, by the meat market bars and false starts. We’re all just wooking pa nub, as the old SNL skit goes, in all da wong places.