Sure, you could meet a porn star, right? After all, they’re just like everyone else. And when they’re not spending LONG, HARD days on set, they’re out doing boring-people things -- like grooming their cat, eating tacos, and casually motorboating. Wait, no. Not like that.
Anyways, because we’re crack investigative journalists and not weird at all, we spent an inordinate amount of time perusing adult stars' Instagram and Twitter accounts to see where people who casually do sex on film for money hang out around LA.
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Kaylani Lei and Jessica Drake
The Abbey, West Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see them there: Two weeks ago, Holly...Would star Kaylani Instagrammed from classic gay bar The Abbey, “Abbey shenanigans w@anniecruz celebrating @jessicadrake birthday”
Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Eight weeks ago, this star also known for The Wicked Instagrammed while enjoying delicious breakfast foodstuffs: “When @lindsaybrooke___ texts you for an early breakfast, you say ‘where and what time?!’ And you get your ass up and go #breakfastreunion so good to see you boo”
Rainbow Bar and Grill, West Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see him there: On May 17, this porn legend and connoisseur of the “Ron de Jeremy” rum retweeted Amber Lynn’s tweet (uh, that sounds kinda dirty): “Amber Lynn @XXXAmberLynns May 17 @Rainbowlive w @RealRonJeremy @JeanneSilverxxx @Melissa_Hillxxx @XXXAmberLynns now.”
Hollywood Hookah, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Nine weeks ago, the lady who launched her career as a very dirty Denise Huxtable in Not the Cosbys XXX Instagrammed a small novela of a run-on sentence: “These r my best memories being made. Happy Birthday @teannaatrump #BirthdayFun #HollywoodHookah with @chanellxxox #EddieJay #BabyGirlBirthday intimate and small just they way u like it mami with ur luved ones @_chillichills thanks for coming to celebrate #madLuv."
Inyo National Forest, Bishop (address and info)
How we know you might see him there: The man known for Gangbang Me and Squatter with a trophy case of porn awards, including Unsung Swordsman, Instagrammed a pic of woods (none of which were his) nine weeks ago with, “Going places.”
Disneyland, Anaheim (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: The brunette star of James Deen Loves Butts 3 Instagrammed 28 weeks ago, “From my Birthday, Monday, at Disneyland!!! @damonjames surprised me with a dress I had my eye on for a while and a special trip to Disneyland with a group of my best friends. I'm so grateful and lucky to have such a thoughtful fiancé who always knows how to put the biggest smile on my face. I love you!”
LA Metro, all over the city (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Six weeks ago, Ms. Lily, aka “Officer Cade” (handcuffs and a night stick are DEFINITELY involved) tweeted, “LA Metro realness with @vibezz.”
Wanderlust Creamery, Tarzana (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: One week ago, this brainy blonde from Dani Daniels Deeper Instagrammed from the Valley location of the mini-chain, “Oh @eatwanderlust how I love you! #MalaysianCoffee #WhiskeyCaramelSauce #UbeCone #WanderlustCreamery #IceCream."
Toca Madera, Mid-Wilshire (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Five weeks ago, this AVN Hall of Fame winner who has her own line of sex toys (you’re welcome) Instagrammed from this upscale Mexican restaurant, “Birthday girl @shana_la.”
Bark n’ Bitches, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Ten weeks ago, this sultry blonde from Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody and Girl Train 3 Instagrammed, “Adopted my new baby from Bark n Bitches in Hollywood! Amazing establishment - everyone meet Lilith."
Kustom Kulture Tattoo, Reseda (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Four weeks ago, this feisty frau known for her REALLY BIG *heart* Instagrammed, “Yayyyyy thank you so much@artofmarcoantonio @kustomkulturetattoloving my new tatt!”
Cheesecake Factory, Topanga (address and info)
How we know you’ll see her there: One thing you didn’t know about The Cheesecake Factory? It’s a favorite of the biker babe from Sleazy Riders, who Instagrammed, “Ok I'll stop for this Beatch! muchos Besos email@example.com at the other Cheesecake Factory!"
Runyon Canyon, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see him there: On October 28th, Lex the Impaler tweeted, “Last night's hike in @RunyonCanyonLA was Great. Especially following @savanastyles through the hills! #RealLife.”
Burbank Animal Shelter, Burbank (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Two weeks ago, this Fallen angel who lost her wings because she, um, “got distracted” Instagrammed (and maybe helped you find a new pet): “This is Micky & Mimi, a bonded pair at the Burbank Animal shelter. They're super sweet & housebroken and need kisses & cuddles. Micky (number AO65921) is about 6 years old. Mimi (AO65922) is 9ish. If you want fur babies in your life, don't buy. Adopt. ❤”
Traktir Restaurant, West Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you’ll see her there: Five weeks ago, this pierced, petite beauty from Black Out 2: Jailed ‘N Nailed Instagrammed, “Was running errands in my old neighborhood today so I stopped at one of my favorite places for lunch! I LOVE Russian food so much that I ate all but half of one of my vareniki before remembering to take a picture ...#russianfood #weho.”
Saddle Ranch, Universal Studios (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Just over five months ago, this newly crowned member of CNBC’s 2015 list of porn royalty, "The Dirty Dozen: Porn’s biggest stars," Instagrammed a pic of her riding the mechanical bull like a pro with: “@bfknaniston @randyquintana @worldofagentleman #universalstudios #saddleranch #stella #8secondride."
Sardo’s Bar, Burbank (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: On October 13th, the karaoke-loving star of Buttman’s Evil Live and several "dude, your mom’s hot" films, tweeted from the legendary porn star karaoke dive bar, “Sing, drink and paaaaaaaarty!!! This is me & Summer.... @SardosBar tonight! 259 N Pass Ave, Burbank, CA.”
Sparky Sin Claire
Hollywood Bowl, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: On October 14th, this tatted temptress from Wasteland and My Big Black Stepdad 3 tweeted, “I got gifted tickets for pretty damn good seats for Florence and the Machine this Friday @ the Hollywood Bowl... who wants to be my date?!?!”
Sagebrush Cantina, Calabasas (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Three weeks ago, this petite badass who graced Re-Penetrator and Dude, Am I A Slut? Instagrammed from Sagebrush, “Bloody Mary's and laughs with @lilyxlane and @juanito_blanco .#sundayfunday."
Beso, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Three days ago, this inked 4Ever fox Instagrammed, “Calm before the storm! Me, my husband@1dennisdesantis and chef Gustavo getting prepared for the baby shower @besowesthollywood ❤ #babyshower #28weeks #babyiscoming."
Pi, West Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: This Ukraine-born beauty from Hocus Pocus XXX (you can guess where they got their magic powers) tweeted on September 3rd, “#Squad @ Pi on Sunset https://instagram.com/p/7MKh23p7Qz/.”
The Grove, Mid-Wilshire (address and info)
How we know you might see him there: This Football Hero and The Boy Who Cried DILF star Instagrammed recently, “@davidrest89 with @repostapp. … movie time at #thegrove #la #movies.”
Laugh Factory, Hollywood (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: This blonde bombshell from Big Butts Like It Big 6 Instagrammed a few weeks ago, “At the #thelaughfactoryhere to see Tim Allen hope he doesn't disappoint excited to see him. #fun #laughs #goodtimes.”
Gasolina Café, Woodland Hills (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Three weeks ago, this Slumber Party Orgy (we can see why she’d need caffeine) and Teen Dream star Instagrammed, “One amazing #cappuccino @gasolinacafe on #venturablvd #Yum.”
Broad Museum, Downtown LA (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: Two weeks ago, this foxy former runway model from Swim Meet and My New White Stepdaddy 11 Instagrammed some art criticism from the super-hot new art museum Downtown: “So I went to the#broadmuseum and I want this fella in a keychain.”
Break Room 86, Koreatown (address and info)
How we know you might see her there: The Urban X Award winner from Rico the Destroyer and host of Vivid Radio’s Dirty/Nerdy Instagrammed from the new-ish '80s-themed bar three weeks ago, “Just hanging out with Michael Jackson. As you do.”
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Michelle Spencer has run into Ron Jeremy waaaay too many times at Rainbow Bar & Grill. Catch her at @thermos62000 on Twitter and @rockingirlie on Instagram.