16. You photobomb family photos on the Big Four Bridge
Asshole. This is for their Christmas card. Grammy will have it on her fridge for a year.
17. You care about sports WAY too much
Burning things = caring too much.
Crying when we lose = caring way too much.
Getting into actual fistfights WHILE ON DIALYSIS? = caring way too much.
18. You’re that asshole ex...
... who tries to bring his/her Tinder dates to his ex’s home bar. No, Tim, this is bullshit. We agreed that you got the dog and I got The Back Door.
19. You’re abusing a historical home in Old Louisville
That is, looting, neglecting, or actively slum-lording it. We have such a kick-ass Victorian district, let’s keep it nice.
20. You are SO OFFENDED by this list
Like, there are no words.
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Rachel Heatherton is a Louisville writer who has done at least six of the things on this list. See more of her scarily accurate opinions here.