Texts Every Miamian Has Received
Like our food, slang, and dating, there are a lot of text messages that are suuuuuper unique to Miami. And despite the signs all up and down 95, most of them are sent from the driver’s seat of the car (please stop doing that). If you’ve lived here long enough, you’ve probably gotten one of these...
Almost exclusively sent by tourists and Miami newcomers who haven’t yet figured out the DEA definitely isn't tracking their text messages.
Typically on a Saturday morning. Can be used to refer to anywhere in Central Florida, and possibly the Keys.
Probably just sat down for that 9pm reservation at Prime 112.
The first? Sent from their living room. The second one? Still hasn’t left their house. You will not hear from this person until next weekend, when this won’t even be mentioned, let alone there be any hard feelings.
He will also require $200 in cash ‘til Monday.
The best part: you don’t speak Spanish. Or even know this person.
Because clearly all 2.8 million people in Dade County have a boy who works the door.
Also, Nati's and Christy's.
You, of course, were smart enough to stay home.
That’s why you told them to get there at 1pm.
Received by people OTHER than high schoolers. Sent from people over 30.
I hope Spirit charged you for oxygen.
The answer is always ham.
If you haven’t been arrested, then your friend has.
Every girl at some point in her Miami life.
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Matt Meltzer is a Thrillist staff writer and knows you're lying when you say you hit traffic. So cut the BS and follow him on Twitter @mmeltrez