Lifestyle

Texts Every Miamian Has Received

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Like our food, slang, and dating, there are a lot of text messages that are suuuuuper unique to Miami. And despite the signs all up and down 95, most of them are sent from the driver’s seat of the car (please stop doing that). If you’ve lived here long enough, you’ve probably gotten one of these...

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Almost exclusively sent by tourists and Miami newcomers who haven’t yet figured out the DEA definitely isn't tracking their text messages.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Typically on a Saturday morning. Can be used to refer to anywhere in Central Florida, and possibly the Keys.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Probably just sat down for that 9pm reservation at Prime 112.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

The first? Sent from their living room. The second one? Still hasn’t left their house. You will not hear from this person until next weekend, when this won’t even be mentioned, let alone there be any hard feelings.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

He will also require $200 in cash ‘til Monday.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

The best part: you don’t speak Spanish. Or even know this person.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Because clearly all 2.8 million people in Dade County have a boy who works the door.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Also, Nati's and Christy's.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

You, of course, were smart enough to stay home.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

That’s why you told them to get there at 1pm.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Received by people OTHER than high schoolers. Sent from people over 30.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

I hope Spirit charged you for oxygen.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

The answer is always ham.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

If you haven’t been arrested, then your friend has.

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Every girl at some point in her Miami life.  

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Matt Meltzer is a Thrillist staff writer and knows you're lying when you say you hit traffic. So cut the BS and follow him on Twitter @mmeltrez