From the good to the bad, the mundane to the crazy (and what highways to avoid during rush hour), we Miamians know our way around the city. And through our journeys, we’ve noticed we happen to do things a bit... well, differently from everyone else. From our fervent love of air conditioning to non-stop complaining, here are 19 Miamisms in no particular order.
We put a lot of weird stuff into our food
From lime in our eggs to mayo in our rice, and chimichurri on everything, we love putting weird stuff in, or on, our food. Our Latin-inspired Italian restaurants have maduros alongside pasta, and we don’t mind waiting in long lines for cinnamon buns in Redland. And once mango season hits, it finds its way into everything. Eating these foods is a local badge of honor.
We drive down the block instead of walking
You may live the equivalent of two city blocks from Walgreens, but you will drive there instead of walk. You’ll not only sweat through your clothes and get a sunburn (damn asphalt and not enough palm trees for shade), but getting run over by a car is a real threat.
We complain about going to South Beach
We love our toes in the sand, floating in the water, and the hot babes. We don’t like the combination of traffic getting there, expensive parking, and tourists. Oh, and all that crap that’s on Ocean Drive. Whatever... we still go, though.
We will rap the lyrics to all songs that include Miami
Whether it's Rick Ross, Trick Daddy, Lil’ Wayne, DJ Khaled, Drake, and Trina, to 2 Live Crew, we know, and will sing, ALL of the words.
We love air conditioning more than anyone else in the US
With an average year-round temperature of 85 degrees, we say blast it all day and night long! ‘Cause when the humidity is at an all-time sticky high, having the windows open isn’t going to cut it.
We greet each other with a cheek kiss
The common greeting is a kiss on the cheek for men to women, women to men, and women to women. Men to men usually stick to the standard handshake, unless, of course, you’re European. Then it’s the double cheek kiss all around. It’s totally fun watching newbies give this one a try.
We wear sweaters in 80-degree weather
Office buildings, malls, even Marlins Park, can be like frozen tundras. We all carry around UM hoodies as a back-up, or have a sweater hanging from the back of our work chairs.
... and in 69-degree weather
We can’t handle it the second the temperature drop below 70 degrees. That's when the scarves, gloves, and boots all come out.
We never use our turn signals
I don’t know why, but for one reason or another, using your turn signal only happens if you accidentally hit it while switching on your lights or windshield wipers.
We freak out when it rains
It rains a lot in Miami, so you’d think we’d be used to it. We’re not. Plans are easily chucked out the window and drivers resemble those involved in the chase scene in Mad Max: Fury Road.
But we also throw crazy hurricane parties
74mph winds? No problem. Who’s bringing the beer?
We call BS on the fake Florida Man stories
A LOT of strange stories come out of Florida. We are masters in spotting them, and even call BS on the ones that are obviously myths.
We will tell you our bug and/or snake stories
We all have tales of giant palmetto bugs, crazy lizards, and dangerous snakes. They’re our war stories.
We love to simultaneously complain and brag about a lot of things
Back in the day, we complained that Miami wasn’t metropolitan enough. Now, we have awesome restaurants (even out in the suburbs), internationally recognized events... and we’re complaining about too many tourists and too much traffic. At the same time, we’re bragging about free tickets to SOBEWFF, hookups at clubs, and access to VIP parties during Art Basel.
We all make fun of LIV
It’s always fun to say “Let’s hit up LIV, bro!” even though you’re absolutely going to Ted’s instead.
We accept Spanish in our everyday language
Spanglish is our unofficial language in the county. Thanks to Pitbull, everyone at least knows what dale means. And even if you’re all “we speak English in America," you’re inevitably going to have to use a Spanish word or two, or you’ll be stuck miming your way through what will surely be a terrible haircut.
We celebrate Miami Heat championships and hoax death news of Fidel Castro by banging pots and pans outside Cuban coffee shops
Banging the hell out of pots and pans in your gym shorts at 2am is fun. It doesn’t even matter if you’re Cuban or not.
We love to play six degrees of separation
Miami-Dade county's population may be in the greater than 2 million. But when we get down to it, we’re all only separated by a few people.
We take gratuitous pride in our sports teams
We see you Marlins! On the upside, we have the underrated sports of jai alai and horse racing.
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