“I like to think of Miami as classy, Latino central, but I think of the rest of the state as like an in-bred, jean-shorts-wearing shithole. And obviously there are lots of old people.”
Sarah, Greenville, SC
Pretty false: While the rural parts of Gainesville might introduce you to your next sisterwife, only a third of them probably wear jorts. And Miami does have a lot of old people and Latinos... but classy... ?
“I am from Texas and have never been to Florida, but I have heard it described by an older couple as ‘Texas, but with more swamps and alligators.’ I've also played Vice City, watched Scarface, and listened to three booty bass albums -- so I think I am fully prepared.”
Zoe, he doesn’t want you to know where, Texas
False: There are a lot of pickup trucks and weird wannabe cowboys... but most of them live in apartment buildings and have no good reason to have a 7” lifted Ford F-150. There is, however, no shortage of swamps and/or alligators... but Texas is a desert and Florida is mad tropical.
“Florida is a sweaty cesspool full of retired New Yorkers and Cubans.”
Eddie, Binghamton, NY
Half-true: We do have a lot of retired New Yorkers and Cubans.