Phase five: The tipping point phase
Where you’re living: Midtown
Where you’re going out: The Stage
Your mantra: “I don’t want to deal with the Beach.”
Go-to activity: Taco Tuesday at Wood Tavern
You’ve calmed down from the WTF phase, and learned to avoid the things you hate about this city (which is why you moved to Midtown, to avoid having to EVER drive west at 4pm). But now that you’ve seen the ugly side of Miami, the romantic luster is gone. And so you find yourself at a crossroads. Everyone who has ever lived in Miami -- whether they admit it or not -- will inevitably encounter this crossroads at least once. That moment when you debate leaving, but you’re not sure why, because nothing is really wrong. You also know that you’ve about reached the limit of what you can do here, and it gives you a chronic itch that’s always there. Sometimes you just put After Bite on it.
Phase six: The "F*** this, I'm outta here" phase
Where you’re living: Midtown. Now next to a condo construction site.
Where you’re going out: You’re not.
Your mantra: “I can’t. Like, I can’t.”
Go-to activity: Two-for-one margaritas at Lime
That’s it! You’re out. You’re done. You probably reached this epiphany as you sat in a two-hour traffic jam in Pinecrest that was somehow caused by the Boat Show, but you’ve looked at the crossroads and decided to take the one that goes north. No matter what your reasons were, they were probably pretty good, but you’ve likely been looking for jobs in other cities for months now, and finally got one that sounds good. Most of your friends have moved, and you realize you haven’t actually GONE to the beach since 2014. So what’s left?