That meme about Cuban coffee and meth going around is cute, though it was even funnier when we made that joke a year ago. But apparently glass is starting to make its way to South Florida, hidden in that classic drug-smuggling apparatus, the piñata. This meth was wrapped in plastic and disguised as candy. The man apprehended with said methamphetaminata led DEA agents to the original source of the drugs, which to absolutely nobody’s surprise came from Bradenton.
If you’re going to go out, you may as well go out doing 110mph on Alligator Alley with two naked girls in your car. While this kind of rockstar behavior is typically reserved for, well, rock stars, you can also do it if you’re Noe Dejesus, who in early December was pulled over for doing triple digits on Alligator Alley. When a Florida Highway Patrolman approached the vehicle, he noticed Dejesus was completely naked with an open 12-pack of Corona and an empty bottle of Crown Royal in the car with him, along with two also-naked female companions. In his mugshot, Dejesus looks exactly like a guy who just spent the night drinking in his car with two naked women.