Go to Mango’s
Never acceptable. If your guests want to look at scantily clad women and/or eat terrible food, the Hooters on Coral Way has much better parking.
Wear shorts when it’s below 72 degrees
Miami is hot all the time. Except when it dips below 72. When that happens, we might as well be in a freeze. Time to bring out our one winter jacket.
Get offended when people ask your nationality
We’ve got more people from other countries than any city in the WORLD. Asking where you're from is far more acceptable than asking, "What do you do?"
Carry auto insurance
Auto insurance is just betting against yourself. And when a ticket is only $116, paying the third-highest rates in the country is a sucker move.
Change your phone number when you move
Even if you only lived here for six months in 2008 and changed your number because you wanted to look cool, you will never, EVER change it back... Unless it starts with 786.
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Matt Meltzer is a staff writer for Thrillist who felt dirty that time he bought car insurance in 2012. Follow him on Instagram @meltrez1.