REALLY HIGH RENT PRICES
The only way to avoid paying less than $1,300/month for a 600 square-foot, 1-bedroom apartment (with one laundry machine for the whole building) is to move to Hialeah. Or Homestead, where the money you’re saving in rent just goes to gas money because you’re 45 minutes away from… anything. What I’m saying is, maybe Lamborghini guy has it figured out.
THE DATING SCENE
You never hear anyone say they’re going to Miami to “settle down.” You DO hear them say they’re going to Miami to "meet hot chicks at the Clevelander” or see them slide into your DMs with the ever-hopeful “Ayyyyy mami.”
DRIVE FASTER, GRANDMA, WE ALREADY HAVE A TRAFFIC PROBLEM.
After the party, it’s the hotel lobby, where you meet a guy with a table at LIV, take him to Better Days, and somehow end up on the sand at 21st and Collins drinking rosé at sunrise. On a Wednesday. It’s fun when you visit, but when you live in a place where the partying never stops, plowing through lines of tourists to pay $20 for a vodka soda gets old fast. Netflix and pajama Fridays, amiright?