You know Disney World is there. And you know Shaq AND Dwight Howard couldn’t wait to get the heck out of there. So you know pretty much everything there is to know about Orlando, right? Um, not quite. By now you should probably know that it’s got some of Florida’s best brunch spots, but unless you’re actually from Orlando, there’s no way you’d know these 25 things...
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17. Everyone either owns, or used to own, a golf cart
And mom probably used it to drop ‘em off at the bus stop.
18. Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman are our neighbors
19. If you see a car without an Orlando City Soccer magnet, it’s probably a rental
MLS fever spreads fast when there’s only one other pro sport. Maybe we really ARE the Portland of Florida.
20. UCF doesn’t stand for University of Central Florida
It’s “Under Construction Forever.” Or, as 75% of your friends who are on their double super senior year can attest, “U Can’t Finish.”
21. Mom taught us never to drive on OBT
Because you’d never have listened if she told you there were hookers and muggers on something called “Orange Blossom Trail.”
22. We still haven’t eaten at every restaurant in town
Though if we go to enough airport terminals we may be able to!
23. Blackfish really put a damper on going to SeaWorld
OK, you probably knew that one, but seriously Tilikum: trainers are friends, not food. Now it’s social suicide to spend any money at that park.
24. Jeremiah’s is basically a training ground for Hooters
Replace ice cream with hot wings and all you’re missing is a crew of surly line cooks.
25. When they announced a Wawa, two-thirds of your friends completely lost their shit
Because see No. 2. But they’re still not as good as Publix subs.
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Danielle Salerno (@quichequiche727 on Twitter) is new to freelance writing, and her fancy new day job in Miami, but she’s not new to Orlando, or its most famous theme park, which she’s been to, like, 57 times.