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  • T T hough we complain about the wretched humidity, the tense commutes, and the weird dating scene, life in Pitbull’s hometown is kind of amazing. With so many different neighborhoods, each with their own distinct vibes and fashion to match, life in “the 305” can be anything you want it to be. So start wherever you are, whatever time of day, and check out the itineraries below. If nothing else, we can pretty much guarantee there’ll be epic people-watching -- it’s Miami.
    Morning
    yonolatengo/Flickr

    Morning

    South Beach/Miami Beach

    8:30am: Hit the beach
    Just short of hell, there is nothing as hot as a Miami beach day -- but do it anyway. Head there early, park in the public lot at 21st and Collins Avenue, between W South Beach and The Setai, and try to get a tan like an actual Miamian.

    11am: Brunch at 27
    Connected to Miami’s Freehand hostel-turned-hangout, this eclectic American brunch joint has everything you need to keep your strength up in the aforementioned blazing hot sun. Order the Huevos Diablos (fried eggs, tostada, black beans, carnitas, red and green salsa and queso) and pair it with a Green Bloody: tequila with roasted Serrano chilies, French Sorel, green tomatoes and lemon. Happy weekend, indeed. View on Map

    Noon: Party at Broken Shaker
    Annnnd we’re back outside! The other good thing about this hostel is its award-winning courtyard bar, Broken Shaker. Once Miami’s best-kept secret, now pretty much everyone knows about it -- and for good reason. If you’re not napping under a banyan tree or in one of its hammocks, you should be grabbing a comfy chair, mingling with the people actually staying in the hostel, and sipping on one of its Instagram-worthy cocktails. The drink menu changes weekly, but there’s always some kind of Old Fashioned with cereal in it (Coco Puffs, anyone?) with our name on it. View on Map

    Books & Books/Facebook

    Coral Gables

    7:30 am: Get breakfast at Threefold Café
    Order the Not So French Toast. We’ll translate: prosciutto, basil and ricotta sandwiches, on baguettes, that are then dipped in egg and fried. This spot serves breakfast daily but miraculously, is rarely crowded. You can eat this everyday. View on Map

    9:30 am: Sweat it out at SoulCycle
    This sexy spin class is all the rage here in the Magic City. You'll burn an AVERAGE of 600 calories in 45 minutes and look hot doing it, which totally makes the fact that you just ate 1,000 calories for breakfast okay. (…Right? Right.)

    11:00 am: Grab a couch at Books & Books’ courtyard
    This bookstore-meets-hangout is a Miracle Mile staple and hideaway. Find a seat in its outdoor courtyard, order an espresso OR a glass of wine (it’s 5 o’clock somewhere?!) and relax. There’s no wifi, so you can only be half-lying when you tell your boss you “didn’t see that email.” View on Map

    Homestead

    10am: Buy things at Robert is Here
    If there’s anything Homestead is known for, it’s its exotic produce. This tropical fruit stand has been around since 1960 and is definitely the most popular in Miami, so stop off for Florida star fruit, papaya, lychees, pineapples and more. View on Map

    11am: Take a canoe out on Hell’s Bay
    Originally named because someone said it was “hell to get into, hell to get out of,” this canoe trail lets you paddle through mangroves, small ponds, bays, campsites, and everything else that only makes sense in the Everglades. Word to the wise: plan to go one way, or turnaround halfway through -- sailing there and back takes six hours.

    2pm: Go to Schnebly Redlands Winery & Brewery Grab some food, drive north, and in the middle of a random giant grass lot, find light-strung tiki huts, a restaurant, flowing waterfalls, and a standalone winery, brewery and store. Grab a seat at one of the long picnic tables, and try some wine and beer made from Homestead’s exotic fruits, like mango, guava, coconut, pumpkin, and our personal favorite, lychee. View on Map

    Afternoon
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    Afternoon

    Key Biscayne

    1pm: Get burgers at Dune Burgers on the Beach
    It’s at the Ritz-Carlton Key Biscayne, yes, but it’s also a relaxed burger joint with b-a-l-l-e-r food that won’t break the bank. Post up in a cabana and order the Dune Classic -- it’s a huge patty, a bacon slab, and potato straws between two buns. View on Map

    2:30pm: Go kayaking at Crandon Park
    Crandon Park has everything from golf courses and tennis courts, to nature trails, mangroves, butterfly gardens, BBQ spots, and yes, kayaking. When you get in the park, head to the North Beach Concession and rent a double kayak for $20 per hour. Then go out on the Atlantic and try not to get lost.

    5pm: Get drinks at Rusty Pelican
    When you’re in Miami, it’s pretty much wrong to never be by the water. This iconic Key Biscayne locale is the best spot in the city to watch the sunset, so grab a table outside, and order the most Miami thing ever -- a Cuban Mojito. View on Map

    Wynwood

    Noon: Have lunch at Kush
    Kush is the gritty little brother of Coconut Grove’s Lokal. But since it runs in the family, expect similarly epic burgers, local beers on tap, as well as alligator bites, chili hobo Frito pie and pastrami Reubens. Go for lunch and order the Kush & Hash burger -- it’s a burger served on a waffle bun, topped with hash, bacon, fried egg, American cheese, homemade ketchup, and comes with a side of maple syrup. No, we are not making this up. View on Map

    1:30pm: Try to get out of the PaniQ Room
    Next, hit the PaniQ Room, a live escape game and Miami’s latest craze. Grab your friends, choose a room (we recommend the Pirates’ Den) and work together, 90’s Clue-style, to crack through encrypted hints and figure out how to get out in under an hour. Good luck. View on Map

    3:05pm: Get your caffeine fix at Panther Coffee
    At 3:05 in “the 305,” something chaotic happens where everyone’s eyes get bloodshot, and the air fills with yells of start “CAFECITOOOOO.” That might be an exaggeration, but Miamians know what we’re talking about. When in Wynwood, calm this panic with a cold-brew coffee from Panther Coffee, made with small-batch Nicaraguan beans, roasted in-house. In true Wynwood style, there is art everywhere, so get that fix here too. View on Map

    Phillip Pessar/Flickr

    Midtown/Design District

    12:30pm: Lunch at MC Kitchen
    Order Aspen’s famous truffle fries. We repeat: order Aspen’s famous truffle fries. View on Map

    2pm: Get a tour of Wynwood Walls
    There’s no missing these six giant warehouses covered in professional graffiti. Book tickets ahead of time, meet at the Walls (look for the iron gate entrance on North Miami Avenue, between 25th and 26th street), and let local artists and “Miami’s Best Graffiti Guide” give you the 4-1-1 behind the cool stuff you’re seeing.

    4pm: Do happy hour at Sugarcane
    When you find the vine-covered gates in the back corner of Midtown’s most popular mall-turned-hangout, congrats: you’ve arrived. Get there at 4pm and spice up your afternoon with a “Spice of Love” cocktail -- a mix of jalapeño, passion fruit, mango and vodka. View on Map

    Brickell/Downtown

    4pm: Kick off happy hour at Brother Jimmy’s
    Brickell is hands-down the best place to go for happy hour, but to make sure you get the best of it, you’ll need to strategize. Brother Jimmy’s starts the earliest, so get there at 4pm for $3 drafts, $4 craft beers, and $5 wells. View on Map

    5pm: Continue at Better Days
    This is one of the area’s newer (and cooler) pop-up bars, and it fills up fast. Get there right at 5pm, when the “Atypical” happy hour starts, for half-off well drinks. View on Map

    7pm: Go to Batch Gastropub
    Hit Batch for $5 beer, wine, sangria and cocktails, as well as herb-and-asiago truffle fries, Hong Kong pork tacos, and BLT sliders. The happy hour ends at 8pm, but you can keep ordering the truffle fries until 3am -- and we strongly encourage that you do so. View on Map

    Coconut Grove

    4pm: Hit happy hour at Monty’s
    Ah, Monty’s -- a giant tiki bar where Old Florida hippies and hot locals alike can drink fruity rum drinks in perfect harmony. Go there at 4pm, when happy hour starts (it’s the only time you’ll be able to grab a seat). View on Map

    6pm: Get dinner at Lokal
    Because you need a Fidy-Fidy burger: it’s 50% Florida ground beef and 50% bacon, with Monterey Jack cheese, Miami Smokers smoked bacon, French AND sweet potato fries, and everything you’ve ever wanted from a burger ever. View on Map

    8pm: Play beer pong at Barracuda
    It’s a dive bar that’s right across the street, and has cheap beer, beer pong tables, darts and a pool table. View on Map

    Evening
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    Evening

    Little Havana

    7:30pm: Sip wine at Le Koke
    Calle Ocho has its classy touches, like this wine and tapas bar. When you get there, ask for Laura -- she’s one of the co-owners and knows everything about the millions (well, feels like it) of wines behind the bar. View on Map

    8:30pm: Eat dinner at El Exquisito Restaurant
    Since you’re on Calle Ocho, walk the three blocks to Exquisito Restaurant and order ropa vieja -- it’s a huge plate of shredded beef, tomato sauce, rice and beans, and sweet plantains. View on Map

    10:30pm: Move on to Ball & Chain
    Right down the street is one of Miami’s iconic Spanish bars and lounges, around since 1935. Go for the live music, salsa dancing, regular dancing that the rest of the world knows how to do, people-watching, and some of the best mojitos in Miami. View on Map

    Kendall/South Miami

    8:30pm: Eat surprisingly well at Scully’s Tavern
    When you walk into this strip mall dive, you expect greasy bar food that you’ll probably regret the next day. Not here. The food team is led by a classically-trained chef who only serves the best -- like Belgian escargot (in a bar?), frog legs, and nachos with house-made tortilla chips. While you’re there, order the potato chip-encrusted dolphin sandwich. You can thank us later. View on Map

    10pm: Bowl at Splitsville
    Located on the second floor of one of Miami’s most popular malls, this swanky bowling alley turns the sport into a party. Plus, at this time of night, it’s just $4 per game and $3 shoes, per person. View on Map

    11pm: Head to Bougainvillea's Old Florida Tavern
    It’s right across the street, and there’s always live music. You literally don’t know what (or whom) to expect, which is pretty much half the fun. View on Map

    Threefold Cafe
    $ Coral Gables
     

    The people here are taking it to the next level with items like breakfast lasagna, in which layers of eggplant, tomato, ham, Gorgonzola, basil, and tomato sauce are topped off with a poached egg, sprinkled...more

    Monty's Raw Bar is a bayside seafood house serving tropical cocktails to patrons under tiki huts, because what else would you drink with a heaping raw-bar platter while gazing out over Biscayne Bay? The bi...more

    Lokal Burgers & Beer
    $$ Coconut Grove
     

    Don’t let the graffiti-covered brick walls and cassette tape mosaics fool you: far from an average dive bar, the Lokal is a sustainability-conscious gastropub, slinging surprisingly healthy bar fare. Regul...more

     

    This Coconut Grove spot is popular with locals and visitors alike for their great craft beer selection, fresh seafood menu, and all around congenial vibe.

    The Rusty Pelican
    $$$ Key Biscayne
     

    40yr-old landmark The Rusty Pelican looks like a Key West-beach-house-meets-country-club, with a labyrinth of glassed-in wine bottles separating the dining room from a 200-person indoor/outdoor lounge with...more

    Robert Is Here Fruit Stand
    Homestead + Redlands
     

    Grab a gift box from one of SoFlo's oldest farmer's markets filled with all the cute crap she's predisposed to love because of genetics, from Key lime hot sauces to country-canned guava butters. The best p...more

    Run by a guy mentored by old pros in New York's vino-tastic Finger Lakes, Schnebly uses local tropical fruits from Redland's orchards to produce an array of wines, then invites you to suck them down while...more

    Ball & Chain
    $$$ Little Havana
     

    This historic live music spot, which has hosted the likes of Billie Holiday and Count Basie, is renowned not only for its high-class staging of musicians, but for being one of the first venues to feature A...more

    Scully's Tavern
    South Miami
     

    For over 20yrs, Scully's has been serving gourmet bar food (seriously, Guy Fieri said so) in a homey and friendly atmosphere complete with photos and maps celebrating South Florida's history.

    Bougainvillea's Old Florida Tavern is OG-- the South Miami mainstay is a well known venue for live jazz, R&B, and reggae, and their DJ nights are a blast.

    Many of the ingredients come from the rooftop garden and herbs from the same backyard spot they use for Broken Shaker. Adjacent to Miami’s best outdoor drinking spot, this places serves Miami-inspired cuis...more

    Broken Shaker
    $$ Miami Beach
     

    In the backyard of the Freehand on South Beach, tucked off to the side, there’s a small alcove overflowing with cocktail-consuming hopefuls, waiting patiently to procure a poolside sipper. The Broken Shake...more

    When the Brother Jimmy’s gods tell you to “Put some South in yo’ mouth,” you do not say no. The New York-based one-stop-shop for inexpensive beers and Southern fare splits its food menu equally between sau...more

    Better Days
    $$ Brickell
     

    A classy take on a good ‘ol fashioned dive bar, Better Days offers up specialty cocktails, good beer, a great happy hour and a relaxed vibe at a very reasonable price. This bar feels right at home in it’s...more

    Batch Gastropub
    $$ Brickell
     

    You know a bar is serious about keeping the party going strong when they have cocktails on tap (because really, ain’t nobody got time to mix drinks when Friday is in full swing). Boasting massive plasma TV...more

    MC Kitchen
    $$$ Design District
     

    MC Kitchen prepares modern Italian cuisine using local, seasonal ingredients. The MC Kitchen has a warm ski-town feel with its Brazilian wood walls and long marble bar that stocks 450 vinos and shaken-to-...more

    Transferring their tapas steez to the AM/ early afternoon, Sugarcane's offering sharable whole wheat pumpkin pancakes w/ whipped vanilla bean ricotta & seasonal fruit, plus creative savories like duck & wa...more

    KUSH Wynwood
    $$ Wynwood
     

    From the folks who brought you Lokal and with a mission to bring seriously high quality craft brews to SoFla, Kush has 18 speciality suds on tap and a limited-edition menu featuring made-from-scratch items...more

    From a Portland couple obsessed with going slightly beyond Sanka (and currently conducting a "sneak preview" bare-bones opening for Basel), Panther's a coffee boutique centered around a go-kart-sized 1923...more

    Dune
    $$ Key Biscayne
     

    Attached to the Ritz-Carlton, this place is a surprisingly downtempo beachside lounge serving up gourmet burgers. Being at the Ritz has some amenities, of course, most notably a huge wine and cocktails sel...more

    LeKoke Wine and Bites
    $$ Little Havana
     

    Le Koke is a tapas and wine bar on the outskirts of Little Havana with a hidden-gem feel. While the decor is vintage, the food is certainly up-to-date, with an extensive wines menu and creative tapas like...more

    El Exquisito
    $$ Little Havana
     

    Just one of the many reasons why Calle Ocho is so famous, El Exquisito serves Cuban food family-style like ropa vieja and chicken and rice. Stop by for a taste of classic Miami flavor.

    Splitsville
    $ South Miami
     

    Splitsville is a popular bowling alley in South Miami, with late-night deals on games and lanes. The food offerings go above and beyond typical alley fare, however, with impressive sushi, pizza, and burger...more

     

    The Miami iteration of the popular "escape room" games, PaniQ Room has three scenarios that you and six friends can be placed in, forcing you to solve puzzles and work together to escape.