Frattiness rank: 11
Actual rank: 19
This is some fratty fire right here. I don't know if this is like, a nickname for Jason, or if parents are actually naming their sons as though they're late-'90s designer jeans brands. Either way, I fuck heavy with it.
Frattiness rank: 10
Actual rank: 5
Got some religious vibes in here for the Bible-beaters in the house, plus you can sorta-rhyme his name with "bro," which is critical to rushing successfully.
Frattiness rank: 9
Actual rank: 11
Jaden Smith is something of a viral meme prophet these days, which is good. Better: this is just a flat-out odd name, and will look hysterical on the composite.
Frattiness rank: 8
Actual rank: 8
I have never met a dude named Caden, but apparently 20 years from now college campuses are gonna have a bunch of 'em running around demanding whiskey-sodas and peeing in hedges. I'm with it.
Frattiness rank: 7
Actual rank: 2
Did you notice this name rhymes with the two prior? Jayden, Caden, and Aiden? These dudes are definitely all going to room together and hook up with the same girls and it's going to be sweaty and uncomfortable and THAT IS FRATTY.
Frattiness rank: 6
Actual rank: 13
Just a really strong all-American white-dude name, right here. Kid's gonna wear khaki shorts that hit six inches above the knee and use "summer" as a verb. Yeah, that'll do.
Frattiness rank: 5
Actual rank: 20
Sounds Southern, and vaguely close-minded. Sounds fratty.
Frattiness rank: 4
Actual rank: 10
What are the odds that someone named Logan drives a Range Rover Sport that his parents bought for him after he crashed his Acura TLS? Good. The odds are good.
Frattiness rank: 3
Actual rank: 23
10 out of 10 Carters agree that they are the fucking man. F-R-A-T.
Frattiness rank: 2
Actual rank: 1
You know what this name says to me? It says "Eagle Scout." Eagle Scouts are great for the house, you guys.
Frattiness rank: 1
Actual rank: 6
Can you have it all? Mason can have it all. Whether he's named after the jar, or the Mason-Dixon Line, or that secret society in the nonfiction documentary National Treasure, it's all gravy. Mason is the frattiest name in the bunch. Take a bow, kid.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Dave Infante is a senior writer for Thrillist. Follow @dinfontay on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.