The 'Biggest Superyacht of All Time' Is Just Stupidly Gigantic

Published On 09/22/2015 Published On 09/22/2015

Honestly, some people just have too much money. Like this guy who dated both Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff circa '05, and the Florida man who won $7 million with a stupid fortune cookie. Rod Stewart said it best: some guys have all the luck. 

But, you could argue that no one's Midas Touch runs as deep as Russian billionaire Andrey Igorevich Melnichenko, who's in the process of building what the Daily Mail had called the 'biggest superyacht of all time.' The new mega-boat will replace Melnichenko's current $292 million beater, succinctly named the 'Sailing Yacht A,'  to make sure "it is listed first in shipping registers."

If you didn't hate this guy before, now it's certain. 

Let's lay out some stats:  Sailing Yacht A is 460ft long with masts close to 300ft tall, it can hit up 24mph on the open seas, and its decked out (literally) in bulletproof glass, teak-finish decks, and more tech than than an warehouse. In fact, the sails can be raised with the simple touch of a (probably platinum-plated) button.

And with a $400 million price tag, it could also fund the college education of approximately 43,769 children. But who cares about kids when you have a built-in helipad on one of your eight docks and an underwater observation room, right?

Apparent yacht expert Benjamin Maltby also told the Daily Mail, "While precise details of the sailing rig have yet to be released, not since the days of the mighty clipper sailing ships, such as the Cutty Sark, has such a large sailing vessel been built," causing the eyes of everyone reading this story at work to roll at tsunami-level forces. 

Wil Fulton is a Staff Writer for Thrillist. He thinks fortune favors the bold. And also the rich. Follow him @WilFulton

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