Sure, there's no such thing as the perfect crime -- except maybe shooting someone with an ice bullet -- but if you're looking to get away with robbing a bank, here's a helpful tip: don't post photos of yourself flaunting the stolen cash.
Two would-be criminal masterminds failed to heed that advice last week, and after allegedly robbing the Savings Bank in Ashville, OH, John Mogan and Ashley Duboe were swiftly brought down by the cringeworthy, evidence-filled selfies Mogan posted to his Facebook page.
If all criminals were this dumb, the world would be a much safer/more entertaining place. The dude's cheek tattoo might say "Loyalty's Thin," but apparently the case against him is pretty thick -- the police had no difficulty connecting the dots thanks to myriad witness statements, Mogan's criminal history, and of course, his glorious photos.
Instead of riding off into the sunset as veritable thousandaires, this modern day Bonnie and Clyde face a minimum of four years in prison. No word on whether or not they'll be updating their social media from behind bars, though.
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Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and he doesn't wanna think about how filthy that money is. Follow him to the face tattoo parlor @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org