79. University of Oklahoma
A story in The Oklahoman right now states that “University of Oklahoma will end baboon program within 4 years” thus helping stave off the eventual, inevitable ape uprising and domination of our planet for at least another 10 years. Boomer Sooner, indeed.
78. University of Texas at El Paso
You’re not even sure where you are right now.
77. University of Texas at San Antonio
You know where you are, but you’re not sure why you’re here.
76. Washington State University
Actually somehow in Idaho.
75. University of Cincinnati
“Bearcat” sounds like something a 5-year-old would come up with after too many juice boxes.
74. University of Utah
“We’re not all Mormon,” they whisper as they quietly watch bootleg R-rated movies while drinking fully caffeinated sodas in the judgment-free safety of their dorm rooms.
73. Western Kentucky University
University founder 1: Let’s brainstorm nicknames!
University founder 2: Bears, dragons, unicorns, tigers, lions, jaguars, cougars...
University founder 1: Hilltoppers?
University founder 2: No.
University founder 1: You’re fired.