84. Louisiana State University
The chance to frequently see a live tiger around campus is not reason enough to live in Baton Rouge clad in purple and gold.
83. Wake Forest University
When I went to visit Wake Forest, one of the guys showing me around asked me what other schools I was looking at. When I told him, he thought about it, and told me to go to one of those other schools.
82. Purdue University
Has turned out more astronauts than any other university, indicative of either strong science education or the fact that graduates want to get REALLY far from West Lafayette.
81. Marshall University
80. San Diego State University
If upscale chain steakhouses had executive recruiters for hostess positions, this is where they would fulfill their entire hiring quota.
79. University of Oklahoma
A story in The Oklahoman right now states that “University of Oklahoma will end baboon program within 4 years” thus helping stave off the eventual, inevitable ape uprising and domination of our planet for at least another 10 years. Boomer Sooner, indeed.
78. University of Texas at El Paso
You’re not even sure where you are right now.
77. University of Texas at San Antonio
You know where you are, but you’re not sure why you’re here.
76. Washington State University
Actually somehow in Idaho.
75. University of Cincinnati
“Bearcat” sounds like something a 5-year-old would come up with after too many juice boxes.
74. University of Utah
“We’re not all Mormon,” they whisper as they quietly watch bootleg R-rated movies while drinking fully caffeinated sodas in the judgment-free safety of their dorm rooms.
73. Western Kentucky University
University founder 1: Let’s brainstorm nicknames!
University founder 2: Bears, dragons, unicorns, tigers, lions, jaguars, cougars...
University founder 1: Hilltoppers?
University founder 2: No.
University founder 1: You’re fired.
72. University of Louisiana at Lafayette
Ragin' Cajuns is by far the best of all the college nicknames, and definitely better than U Penn’s Moderately Upset Quakers.
71. University of Memphis
Were you really planning to honor John Calipari, the man who just goes from college to college vacating wins as if they are empty lots in semi-residential areas?!?!