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Everything Californians Want for the Holidays

Published On 11/25/2016 Published On 11/25/2016
Shutterstock/Daniel Restrepo/Thrillist

In the land of sunshine, palm trees, beaches, and ridiculously good looking people, it kind of seems like Californians must have it all. Or do we? Believe it or not, we actually have a pretty long, existential wish list only a genie could grant. From the Bay Area to San Diego, Hollywood to wine country, here’s what we Californians really want in our proverbial stocking. 

For reliable modes of transportation 

If traffic is a necessary evil, how about a public transportation system that actually takes you where you need to be in under 3 hours? We just want to get from the Hollywood Hills to Long Beach seamlessly, because nobody’s got time to venture through the Valley’s back roads or side streets. Or just how about some reliable traffic apps? Think Waze, but made 1000 times better with alerts for bad drivers, road kill, and the best roadside pit-stops when you get hangry.  And if all else fails, how long until teleportation devices are a thing?

A permanent ban on calling California “Cali” and San Francisco “San Fran” or “Frisco” 

It’s Ca-li-for-ni-yuh. 

For seals to be considered socially (and legally) acceptable as pets

Seals are the majestic puppies of the California coast. And who doesn’t love puppies? 

For NorCal to get a Disneyland equivalent

Everyone in California should be able to hop over to the happiest place on earth without stewing in a car for six hours.

Part-time seasons to enjoy snow and changing leaves  

The whole East Coast can keep their shebang of endless frozen months. A sprinkle or two of snow that looks pretty and melts back into 80 degree weather is all we really want. 

Ase/Shutterstock, Alexander Demyanenko/Shutterstock

For Bay area homes that non-Google employees born in the '90s can afford

We’re talking way, way under a million -- or we won’t be homeowners any time this century.

To make it to that coveted brunch spot and go straight in with no wait

In a land of 80 degree winters, the brunch struggle is real. If the line wasn’t bad enough -- how about the sunburn?

To spot a celebrity crush and creep long enough to take the perfect Instagrammable picture

While Californians are not constantly befriending celebrities on the street, we do see them from time to time. (They’re people too, allegedly.)

For our favorite burrito place to be open 24/7 because real Californians know that not all burritos are created equal

A Mission Style burrito from the Bay Area is not a California burrito from San Diego stuffed with fries. When that craving hits, how perfect would it be to have your go-to spot open no matter what?

The ability to eat by any body of water without vicious seagulls swarming like a poop-raining storm cloud

Whether we live by the ocean, on the beach, by the Bay, or actually in The City by The Bay, our food is not safe (unless we’re in the literal desert). Seagulls are the flying rats of the west coast.

For valets at every hill in San Francisco to parallel park your car

Trying to parallel park on a concrete-version of Mt. Everest in between two cars that already are parked poorly is a disastrous task. And guess what happens when you forget the emergency brake? No one wants to be responsible for that!

For The Bullet Train to finally give us a quick, painless way to jet back and forth between NorCal and SoCal 

Thereby completely avoiding the offensive cow manure smell on Interstate 5… 

bikeriderlondon/Shutterstock, Cameris/Shutterstock, Maridav/Shutterstock

To have an official dating chauffeur service up and down the PCH

Sure, we're all capable of multitasking to some extent. But really, taking a romantic drive, trying to enjoy the scenic views while focusing on the road AND entertaining a date? Doesn't leave much room for romance, does it? 

For Google Headquarters to finally finish and legalize its magical, self-driving car

Californians are just waiting for the day when we can binge watch during commuting hours. We all know they have the technology to do it... 

For the aforementioned self-driving car technology to collaborate with In-n-Out and provide free 24/7 delivery to all

We’d never have to wait in the drive-thru lane ever again!

LEGAL Disclaimer: 

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