The office-chair politician
Status: "Like, share, and comment on anything you can to get [INSERT POLITICIAN NAME] elected!"
Translation: Unfollow me unless you want to see the absolute worst of me, but in the form of memes and unsubstantiated news stories.
The Rick Steves disciple
Status: "Not all who wander are lost."
Translation: I'm having trouble paying rent this month and Jack Kerouac is my new, and first, favorite poet.
The guilt-tripping attention seeker
Status: "I'm purging my friend list, so if you'd like to still stay connected, post something in the comments or send me a message."
Translation: Is anyone out there?