Honestly, if you’re one of these guys, and you’re thinking this much about it -- do it. Wear one. Be the change you want to see on the beach. It’s not your fault the States are miles behind in Speedo acceptance. In France, you will literally be escorted out of a public pool for wearing swim trunks or board shorts and forced to buy a scrap of spandex from a vending machine. They claim it’s a hygiene issue, as they don’t want people to jump into a pool in clothes they could have worn outside, which is somehow dirtier than a pool. Rules are rules! In Brazil, barely-there male swimwear isn’t a rule as much as it is a rite of passage. Wearing a sungah, tiny briefs with just a bit more coverage than a Speedo, is the norm during summertime on the beaches of Rio. It’s Brazil -- they wear board shorts all year round, they have to switch it up come summer. Bottom line is, it doesn’t matter what you look like, or what everyone else thinks -- it matters that you go ahead and do the thing that you want to do. And don’t just hide in the water when you do! Own it.