The outdoor barbecue is one of the most cherished rituals of summer, and the grill is your altar. And such an important piece of backyard life should be an extension of the grill master himself: luxurious and spectacular, humble and quaint, or just incredibly awesome. We scoured the ancient texts (or, the internet) for the grills that even barbecue high priests would envy, presumably when not napping off meat comas.
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One of the greatest schisms in barbecue is rooted in the question of what fuel to use. Gas grilling is quicker, but charcoal adds nuance, and wood even more flavor. Now, you can have one grill that will do all three. The Kalamazoo Hybrid Fire Grill burns charcoal, wood, and gas, and will run you upwards of $11,000. But it's totally worth it if you want to humiliate all of the other dudes on the block who are somehow not already humiliated by constantly wearing cargo shorts to your grill parties.
For the grillers who get pleasure out of reminding the vegetarians at your barbecue that everyone is about to eat a lot of meat from animals, who are in fact, now dead, this grill is for you. Just look at that happy pig face, with its happy piggy eyelashes! Definitely the best way to give some children nightmares.
So, yes, this grill is $50,000. But, in all fairness, that’s a lot cheaper than buying an actual dinner boat. This vessel will comfortably accommodate 10 adults for a cookout, and even has little placeholders for plates so that way your barbecue doesn’t spill about when things get choppy. Those will also be helpful for when you power up the motor to escape the loan sharks you hit up to pay for this thing.
For those trying to summon the spirit of Clint Eastwood at your barbecue (or a Sanderson sister) consider grilling in one of these. These giant cast-iron cauldrons allow you to cook on a straight open flame (no grill), which is almost as hardcore as being a real cowboy... minus the rickets.
If this grill looks like it’s the brainchild of a college frat party, that’s because it is. Legend has it that after the keg kicked, some guys sawed it in half and used it as a grill, and the Keg-a-Que was born. You can buy yours for about $70, or the amount you've probably lost in keg deposits over the years.
Big city BBQ masters staring longingly at all the other grills on this list, trying to remember what a backyard looks like, don’t fret. We found a little something for you too. This grill attaches to your balcony railing and is about the size of a flower pot, and is maybe only possibly a definite fire code violation in your apartment.
Robots can clean your home, schedule your appointments, and answer just about any question you have, so it makes sense that now they can cook your food, too. All you have to do is say something like “Smart Grill, cook scallops” and it will adjust the temperature, tell you where to place them on the grill, alert you when need to flip them, and plot your (and the rest of humanity's) swift & assured destruction.
If you’re into sustainability (which, you probably should be) then instead of taking a side in the charcoal or gas debate, you could just literally harness the power of the sun for your next barbecue. While it looks like your neighbor's broken satellite dish that he just won't take down (you're killing the property values, Jeff) it will cook your meal in about 10 minutes, and you’ll have made exactly zero carbon emissions.
Why is the beer always so far from the food? You’re not going to burn off the calories from either with the mini-pilgrimage between them, so why not put them side by side, where they belong? That’s exactly what this grill does, which acts as a mini beer fridge and keg, with a grill attached. Neat.
Just in case the electric grid stops functioning or you just locked yourself out of your house and you’re really hungry, this grill has your back. After you get a small fire going, the battery-operated stove will maintain the heat’s temperature for up to 40 hours. Then, you’ll place the grill plate on top to whip up whatever emergency barbecue meat you’ve got on hand... you have emergency barbecue meat, right?
To use this grill, you must don your fanciest pants. Your fanciest, European, pants to be exact. The Kara grill looks like a modern art sculpture, or something from Krypton, and is currently only available to those who use the euro. So, for now, we’ll just stare in awe from across the pond, dreaming of the barbecue art we could be creating on it...and watching how it works on YouTube.