Turn Friendsgiving into FRIEDsgiving
At minimum, it takes three hours to roast a turkey -- if it’s a small bird. That’s also if you don’t include stuffing, and what kind of monster doesn’t include stuffing? BUT if you deep fry it in peanut oil, it takes -- get ready for this -- just three minutes per pound plus an additional five minutes per bird. So let’s say your Friendsgiving turkey is 24 pounds. You could roast it for, like, five hours, or you could deep fry it for 77 minutes. No contest.
You could also make a beer can turkey by... doing exactly what you think. Put the beer can in the seasoned bird and throw it on the grill for an hour. Or, you could spatchcock it. That’s when you split the bird in half and cook it flat on the grill or in the oven. It’s juicier, crispier, and cooks in half the time, leaving you free to do what really matters: make dessert... we mean, spend time with loved ones. But if all else fails, just go full monty and make a Turducken: a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey, of course.