Insanely High Dude Calls 911 and Cops Find Him Buried in Junk Food

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There are a ton of myths and misinformation when it comes to smoking pot, but here's one rule that'll never steer you wrong: no matter how high you get, calling 911 is absolutely not the solution to your problems.

Case in point: this 22-year-old guy in Ohio, who apparently phoned up the fuzz in a panic because he'd he'd smoked way too much weed, and consequently gotten way too high -- to the point where he couldn't feel his hands. When the cops arrived at his place, they discovered the afflicted gentleman lying "on the floor in a fetal position," surrounded by a ton of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies.

Yes, that's right: according to the police report, the dude allegedly got really, really stoned, ate a ton of junk food, freaked out, and called the cops. Alright, so the report doesn't actually say he "freaked out," but how else would you describe this absurd behavior? Unless this is some elaborate hoax, it's almost as good as the time that cop "overdosed" on pot brownies with his wife and dialed 911. Almost.

In addition to the pile of delicious munchie treats, the cops also searched the guy's car (he gave them the keys, so maybe he didn't fully come to his senses) and found a glass pipe with pot residue, rolling papers, two roaches, and a glass jar with weed inside.

Amazingly, the cops appear not to have charged him with anything -- as of Monday morning, that is. This must be that semi-charmed life Third Eye Blind were talking about, right?

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Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and he’s never been in this situation before. Ever. Follow his tweets for help @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to