Themed parties barely exist in real life
Can’t someone -- anyone -- throw a toga party? We’d even settle for a simple blacklight party. Just wear white! We’ll bring the blacklights ourselves.
Having someone cook all your meals for you
You might complain about the dining hall now (the mystery meat, the spaghetti and meatballs that look like they’ve been sitting out since last Tuesday), but trust us, you’ll miss it when it’s gone. Steak fajitas don’t just make themselves.
Napping in the middle of the day
Ask any adult what they do all day when they WFH (Work From Home; an acronym you will learn to cherish after college) and they’ll all say, “sleep.” Because you know what adults do in the middle of the day when they’re at the office? They get coffee at 3pm so they don’t faceplant into their keyboards. Enjoy those naps. Take one every day if you can and we’ll rest vicariously through you.
Having afternoons/entire days off during the week
Do you know how hard it is to get to the post office during business hours when you work a 9-to-5? Or see the doctor? Or call the phone company to get your free upgrade? Weekdays -- specifically weekdays when you’re free and everyone else is busy working -- are numbered in this life. Don’t sleep on ’em -- unless you’re using that free time for one of those sweet, sweet naps we were talking about earlier.
Access to the school’s sweet facilities
Really, you’ve got a gym, a pool, basketball and tennis courts, practice rooms to enable your budding music career…. It’s basically like living on a resort (where campus police tell you to stop making noise at 11pm, but STILL).