Today was a big day. After coming across an article by GQ promoting a $2,290 cashmere vest from Mr. Porter—I made the executive decision to never spend more than $85 on a piece of clothing that specifically lacks sleeves. Look, guys, I get it: it's fall and it's not jacket weather yet, and everybody looks good sans sleeves, but I'm not spending almost $3,000 on a fucking vest.
I get it, it's probably a very comfortable and warm vest and made from, like, goose tears or something, but it's a vest. A VEST! I could literally buy a used car for $2,290. I could put down $2,290 towards a small room in a nice luxury building in Williamsburg. $2,290 is a good chunk of money that you can deposit into the savings account or put towards a college fund for your kids. It's a lot of money that shouldn't be spent on one thing.
The point is, GQ, I don't want to hang out with the type of guy who can throw down almost $3000 on a piece of clothing. Those are kinds of guys who drive asshole cars, own asshole sunglasses, and have destination weddings in New Zealand and then make you feel like a slice of shit when you tell them you'd have to give up eating for a month to buy a plane ticket.
In fact, I'd feel inclined to punch a guy in the testicles if he told me his vest cost $2,290. There are plenty of websites that sell quality vests at a cheap price. JackThreads, for example. [Ed. note: JackThreads is owned by our boss. Thanks, boss!] Just had to get that off my chest. No pun intended. Well...yeah, some pun intended.