The see-no-evil monkey: Whether you're embarrassed, disgusted, or just generally beside yourself with emotion, this guy will do the trick. It's one cute-as-hell catch-all.
The worried face: Okay so this is technically a "worried" expression, but it's vague enough to cover a wide spectrum of not-so-great feelings. Concerned sympathy? Check. Stunned hatred? Also check.
The information desk person: She may be egregiously misnamed, but this woman -- who appears to be tossing her hair or generally doling out sass more than answering any information desk person-related questions -- would serve as the perfect wildcard in this deck of 'cons. To be used sparingly, and wisely.