Age 26: Celebrating useless occasions
If you want to go out and get drinks for your birthday, that’s fine. However, it doesn’t need a full week of celebrations. Furthermore, feeling the need to find the wildest party because it’s Halloween? That’s just stupid. Even New Year’s is just another day, and it’s about time you realize that.
Age 28: Texting your ex
You’re almost 30 years old and he/she doesn’t need this crap. Grow up and leave your ex alone. If you really need to talk to someone, get on a dating app like the rest of us. Or if the confrontation is what you’re looking for, just go get in an argument in the comments section of a website. But unless you’re Adele, you should stay quiet on the other side.
Age 29: Being the guy on the couch
If you need to stay over at a friend’s place because you got overzealous at the bar or something, then that’s fine. However, if you’re planning on spending an extended period of time on a friend’s couch at the age of 29, then it’s time to seriously consider where you’re heading in life. Also, your friends will hate you.