Q: “Where do you get your music?”
A: “Music-streaming websites, mostly. They're like record stores on your computer but you don’t have to pay anything so long as you don't mind listening to a Febreze ad every other song. But sometimes I do buy vinyl records from Urban Outfitters. Do you still have any of your old ones? I will spend an hour with you sometime in the next few weeks if I can have them.”
Q: “What ever happened to that nice girl you brought to Thanksgiving two years ago?”
A: “She moved to Thailand to become a certified scuba instructor, and then de-friended me on Facebook.”
Q: “When are you going to have kids?”
A: “Do you want to see some photos of my cat?”
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Dan Gentile is a staff writer at Thrillist. His parents are pretty with-it and recently began using his Netflix password, but he sincerely hopes they aren’t chilling while they watch it. Follow him to gross gross gross: @Dannosphere.