The half-measure pooper scooper
So, wait... You took the time to bag the dog poop, then… left it on the grass, 3ft from the garbage can? Is this some sort of modern art statement? Even worse are the people who do this on hiking trails, claiming they don’t want to walk six miles with a bag of poop in their hands, so they’ll pick it up when they get back. Thanks a ton, John Muir. You’ve made our portrait of nature complete with your random bags of feces.
Do people who look exactly like their animal plan it that way, or is it some weird part of evolution that causes a bulldog’s owner’s cheeks to sag and bottom teeth to protrude like that over the course of their companionship?
The service-animal faker
Dude, we get that you don’t want to board your dog when you travel, but we’re pretty sure that three-legged, half-blind Chihuahua isn’t going to be guiding you anywhere, so you can take off your sunglasses now.
The anti-Bob Barker
You don’t believe in neutering the dog? Totally cool. But that doesn’t mean you constantly need to point out its gigantic balls. We can see them clacking together perfectly well from 200 yards away.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Andy Kryza is a senior editor at Thrillist who sincerely apologizes to his dog for stuffing him in a BabyBjörn for this story... again. Follow him to apologetic treats @apkryza.