Don’t call it a comeback. (Please. I really need you to stop calling it a comeback.) Bellies have been here for years. And they’re not going anywhere. Well, mine isn’t anyway.
After enduring decades of constant anti-gut sentiment from the factions of medicine, fitness, and fashion; after barely surviving the slim-fit era by paying designer premiums for button-up shirts short enough to leave acceptably untucked; after suffering through so many bogus belly-trend pieces, scary health study listicles, and gut-buster workout regimens, I’m done. Fuck you all: the belly stays.
Trust: I’ve tried. For what felt like a good long time, I cut my carbs and did my crunches, I piked and I planked, I’m pretty sure I even cared. Once I moved to Texas (where carbs come from), I had to start trying a little harder to care. Eventually this waned to the point of just not. (Caring.)