Let’s face it, New Orleanians, as a whole, are pretty great. We’re incredibly friendly, love to party, and have an almost pathological sense of hospitality. That said, for every hundred or so fantastic and warm NOLA residents, there’s at least one douchebag. Should you happen to be unclear on whether or not you are that douchebag (already a worrying sign), here are some excellent indicators.
1. You wear all Perlis, all the time
We get it, you have a crawfish on your shirt. And your shorts. And your belt. And probably your underwear.
2. You never leave Bywater/Marigny
3. You never leave Uptown
4. You INSIST that Metairie is not part of New Orleans
Yes, it’s in a different parish, but it’s still part of the greater New Orleans area and NOT a distinct city, unlike Kenner (brah). It can actually be pretty great.