As determined by a highly unscientific poll, the average length of a relationship in New York for a 20-something is somewhere between two and a half Tinder dates to a year. Still, this is enough time in New York minutes to cover just about every emotion in an adult relationship steamrolling into a sad and awkward breakup phase. Collected through entirely subjective personal anecdotes, we’ve amassed simultaneous timelines of a newly single couple following a breakup in the city.
1 week: Tinder, margaritas, and tallboys
You sigh a sad sense of relief -- breaking up with someone is never easy. But things were weird for a while anyways, right? You wait about a week before (re)downloading every dating app known to mankind. You include the red flag fact “recently single” in your Tinder bio. You start hitting up your friends again, who all know what's going on here. After a noticeable lack of a third body in the apartment, your Craigslist roommate, whom you speak to maybe twice a week, asks you to grab an obligatory drink to stave off the impending sad. Confounded by this social gesture, you oblige, and follow him to the Turkey's Nest. You opt for the large margarita, stay for a crusty anecdote from an older gentleman missing a front tooth, and leave alone, styrofoam cup in hand. You sit on a bench in McCarren Park in the dark.