According to a recent study by a sociologist at the University of Utah, the best time to get married (if you don’t want to get divorced) is between 28 and 32. But this is New York City -- a place where legally signing over half our closet space to another human comes second to memorizing the location of all 500 Citibike stations and fiercely defending our right to sidewalk space in SoHo. Since the majority of people who live here are in no rush to get married, that leaves us plenty of time to direct all our love and attention to the important things, like the goldendoodle who lives in 3A, the deli lady with perfect bagel-to-cream-cheese ratios, and that guy who held the F train door open last week. So, dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honor the city that will always come first in its residents’ hearts, and I’ve taken the liberty of writing some vows. Here’s to you, New York, a love even more thrilling and complicated than Johnny Haverford, who gave me a rock for 4th grade Valentine’s Day.