13. The person sitting next to you is not your friend.
Chances are, you wouldn’t speak to the person to your left on the subway, so what makes you think the rules are different on the LIRR? The girl reading across from you does not want to take a break from her book to give you a detailed description of what she’s reading. I promise. Don’t ask.
14. If you put your feet on the seat across from you, you are objectively an asshole.
Whether the train is crowded at this moment or not, someone will eventually have to occupy the seat you have now so graciously coated with the filth lining the bottom of your Midtown-sidewalk-dusted loafers.
15. Quiet cars are actually a thing.
During the morning peak, the first car of your train is the quiet car, and during the evening peak, it’s the last. There is one car on the entire train dedicated to complete silence. Do not be the person who ruins it.
16. Expect judgment if you have a single ride ticket.
Most of the other commuters on your train have likely been dishing out $350 a month to travel from Babylon to Penn on a daily basis for years. Nobody is amused by the novelty of your first LIRR ride. And that being said, don’t spend 10 minutes looking for your ticket when the conductor arrives -- shockingly enough, you bought a ticket for a reason, and someone will check it. Keep it in hand.