New York City transforms in harmony with the changing weather: Coffee shops concoct seasonal specials, sidewalk cafes contract, rooftop bars are covered, holiday lights are strung up with the same urgency as they are removed, and so on, ad infinitum. But New Yorkers are dismissive of the weather in typically stubborn fashion -- the school system eschews snow days, fashionable folks slosh through slush in stilettos, and the tourists' hunger for our great city never ceases.
This winter in Gotham, The Nutcracker turns naughty, Prohibition turns 100, and Tinder interactions, well, remain brutal. Don’t let the fear of freezing over keep you from hitting the town -- here’s everything you need to do to overcome the seasonal slump. You can curl up by the fire with a good book when you’re dead.
Embark on a virtual reality sleigh ride
Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday through 12/24
Downtown Brooklyn
Millennials who grew up on NORAD’s Santa Tracker thought they had it good, but today’s tots are living in the golden age of Santa simulations. City Point’s BKLYN Arctic Adventure creates a Christmas dream come true. Strap on a headset and find yourself on a reindeer-drawn sleigh. Fly past Mrs. Claus’s bakery shop, a gingerbread house, and arrive at Santa’s Secret Workshop where the adventure begins.
Cost: Free for 10-minute adventure; $25 for 30 minutes; book in advance
Sparkle among hundreds of lanterns
Wednesday-Sunday through 1/6
Staten Island
Dozens of LED installations up to 30 feet high will shine bright through the night across seven acres at the NYC Winter Lantern Festival. Journey through a magical light tunnel, admire gorgeous, electric jellyfish in an oceanic display, and stroll through a garden of towering tulips like Alice did in Wonderland. Entertainment includes traditional Chinese performances like a lion dance, water sleeve dance, and martial arts show.
Cost: Adult admission is $23; kids are $15
See a naughty Nutcracker on steroids
Now through 1/13
Bushwick
Nutcracker Rouge is an erotic take on the wholesome original. The Baroque-burlesque style show reimagines the traditional coming-of-age story as one of sexual awakening. Kinkily costumed ballerinas, aerialists, and dominatrixes replace traditional sweet snowflakes, soldiers, and sugar plums. Bring anyone who’s ever uttered the words “ballet is boring” for a nice I told you so.
Cost: Tickets start at $75
Or watch Clara dancing pretty in New York City
12/6-12/9
Upper East Side
See Olde New York enchanted and brought to life (not unlike the Nutcracker himself) at Dances Patrelle’s Yorkville Nutcracker. Hunter College’s Kaye Playhouse will transform into NYC spots: Dancers will twirl through a Christmas party at Gracie Mansion, bourrée by the New York Botanical Garden Crystal Palace, and dance on ice in Central Park.
Cost: $55-65
Between the holidays and finishing out the year at work, your calendar can fill up fast in the colder months. But whether your winter plans involve heading out to a new bar opening, onto the open road, or to the office, Wrangler has new styles and comfortable fits made for wherever life takes you -- so you won’t have to think twice about what to wear.
Get real at a fake wedding
12/11
Brooklyn Heights
You only get married once. Not true, but you’ll (probably) only drop serious cash on your first. Get a taste of decked out cakes, a whiff of floral arrangements, and a preview of crooning entertainers before your own big day at The Big Fake Wedding at the Brooklyn Historical Society. Not your typical expo, The Big Fake Wedding is a party onto itself. Past iterations of the event have attracted more than 200 guests. Your ticket gets you a cocktail, light bites, and a swag bag.
Cost: $25
Window shop and sip a complimentary hot cocoa
12/13-12/15
Midtown
Warm up after a chilly afternoon of Fifth Avenue holiday window shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue’s gratis holiday treat bar. Head to the eighth floor for an Irish cream liqueur hot chocolate with holiday toppings like macaroons and crushed candy canes.
Cost: Free
Fa-la-la your heart out on the longest night of the year
12/21
Citywide
Make Music Winter is annual solstice celebration of song. Fifteen harmonious parades will echo through the five boroughs all day. Some of this year’s highlights include a hand bell tour in the East Village, a mobile Hallelujah chorus, and a New Orleans-style jazz march through Corona, Queens. Consult the parade program list to see where to share your own musical stylings.
Cost: Free
Hit refresh at the Resolution Art Run
1/1
Chelsea
You only have about six days of motivation before you slip back into your old, filthy habits -- don’t waste them! Leave your NYE regrets in 2018 and start the year fresh with a 5K run that stops at select street murals along the route. Finish off the afternoon with a round of runner’s yoga. No bad vibes this year.
Cost: $35
Hear your favorite podcasts live
1/10-1/13
Gowanus/Park Slope/Fort Greene
The Brooklyn Podcast Festival is back, and this season’s lineup features some of the most talented (and funny) podcasters in the biz, including Thrillist’s best rising comedian from Maine: Emma Willmann. The events are divided between three venues in Brooklyn and priced à la carte.
Cost: Most tickets run from $10-20
Get fit under blacklights
1/11
Chelsea
Finally, an excuse to reuse the neon tights you bought for that ’90s-themed Halloween bash in 2016. Welcome the weekend at a glow-in-the-dark fitness session set to tunes piped through your very own headphones at Shape Up in the Dark. Skip happy hour for once, register online for one of two instructor-led workouts, and arrive on time -- spots are first come, first served.
Cost: Free
March for equality in Midtown
1/19
Midtown
It’s been two years since post-inauguration women’s marches filled streets and made history. As the Women’s March Alliance gears up for round three in NYC, people from all over are making protest plans. Join several thousand others in standing up for human rights, and show your elected officials how they can do better. A short rally north of Columbus Circle will precede the march.
Cost: Free
Celebrate Prohibition’s centennial (with some rum)
1/24
Upper East Side
The blessedly repealed 18th Amendment turns 100 this month, and what better way to flip it the bird than with booze? This 21+ event at the Museum of the City of New York kicks off with a happy hour, followed by a panel discussion between liquor experts, and closes with a Prohibition-style cocktail tasting. It’s never too late to raise a glass to the brave souls that subsisted on bathtub hooch for 13 years.
Cost: $20 general admission, $15 for MCNY members
Fill up on really delicious samples
1/26
Sunset Park
No, not Costco samples, you tasteless fool. Good samples. The kind that weren’t born out of freezers and microwaves. You’ll have access to the borough’s highest-voted dishes and craft brews at the one-day-only Best of Brooklyn Food & Beer Festival. Every chef, restaurant, and brewery present was nominated by locals, making for an authentic BK experience complete with DJs to feed the hype. Does Costco have that? Didn’t think so.
Cost: $29-75
Let someone else host Super Bowl Sunday
2/3
Citywide
Your studio apartment ranks high on the list of the lamest places to spend Super Bowl Sunday. Where should you watch? At one of the countless sports bars and restaurants offering game day specials. If you have a lot of friends, check out the Bierstrasse Harlem Beergarden. For hookah deals, try Katra. The Giants may have let you down, but NYC’s bar scene won’t.
Cost: Package deals; standard menu prices
Welcome the year of the pig
2/5-2/17
Multiple boar-oughs
The dog days are over! The famous Chinese New Year parade, where iconic dragon dancers soar down Mott Street, happens two weeks after the actual holiday. But there are plenty of fun things you can do to celebrate sooner, like enjoying Chinatown’s best eats or heading to the Queens Botanical Garden for an afternoon of family-friendly crafts and special performances.
Cost: Most events are free
Fall in love with NYC
2/14
Citywide
Valentine’s Day is like the liquorice of holidays; you either love it or find it difficult to stomach. Fortunately, NYC is full of V-Day attractions, like secret date spots and romantic restaurants, and distractions like literally anything else you can choose to do on this random Thursday in February. If you are observing the Hallmark holiday this year, get a little kinky and see a burlesque show -- the Filthy Gorgeous Valentines Spectacular is our top pick.
Cost: Burlesque tickets start at $30
See right swipes IRL at a renowned comedy show
2/16
Gowanus
Hey what’s up? U like The Smiths? U naked? We’ve all gotten these messages (...right?). Lane Moore of The Onion, Cosmopolitan, and other nauseatingly impressive publications channels the tragic comedy of Tinder for an experience that has the New York Times and other outlets chortling. The interactive comedy show includes tips for navigating the dark dating web and live Tinder interactions. Avoid the app during showtime if being trolled isn’t your aphrodisiac.
Cost: $15
Watch films about lady leaders at a feminist mecca
2/28-3/3
Upper West Side
Now in its eighth year, the Athena Festival at Barnard College spotlights woman-focused films. Last year’s fest set the bar high when sports icon Billie Jean King and Lena Dunham graced the stage, and when former Prime Minister of New Zealand Helen Clark received a standing ovation after a screening of My Year With Helen. Check out this year’s list of films and guests here.
Cost: Early bird all access passes are $75; individual ticket prices vary
Take a walk on the whiskey side
3/2
Downtown
This is your 8 Best Cocktail Bars list made manifest as a Whiskey Walk. One ticket gets you one ounce of golden nectar per venue, along with food specials to slow your drinking speed. You may run into a bagpiper or two, so don’t feel embarrassed to wear your kilt or a cheap Party City top hat. Check in starts at 11am and ends at 3pm; they’re strict about time, so don’t dawdle. Venues will be announced here.
Cost: $65
Stroke your chin at one of NYC’s greatest artistic feats
3/7-3/10
Hell’s Kitchen
What do modern art and Nickelback have in common? Someone you love questions their legitimacy. Don’t take that loved one along to the Armory Show, aka the International Exhibition of Modern Art, where the 20th- and 21st-century galleries, thematic presentations, and large-scale installations are curated by experts from all around the world. This thing’s legit -- the first show in 1913 radically changed the public’s perception of Modernism. Find information about artists here, and food options at the piers here.
Cost: Price varies
Celebrate with the liquid luck of the Irish
3/16
Various Locations
Ahhhh, the St. Patrick’s Day parade: a place and time for the biologically and temporarily Irish to raise paperbagged bodega booze and toast to kilted musicians. Emerald fanfare begins at 11am on Fifth Ave (between 44th and 79th) a day before St. Paddy’s proper -- just in time for bar crawling, and happy-houring at the best Irish pubs in NYC. You can also observe sober St. Patrick’s Day if you’re drunk on life, celebrate at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, or swing by the Empire State Building to confirm that they have indeed lit it up green again.
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