We want to have it all… and clearly can't
While people living in a slower-paced environment might be able to stop and smell the roses, New Yorkers are trying to smell them while pruning them, picking them, and arranging them perfectly in order to bring them home to our perfect spouse -- all from the backseat of a taxi that’s moving 60mph down the FDR. “There’s a unique pressure in living a certain lifestyle with children and a career in certain parts of Manhattan, where there are unique social pressures,” says Blackman, who conducts her practice in Midtown. “New Yorkers sometimes don’t understand that you can’t have your cake and eat it, too; that making certain choices involves both gain and loss. For example, if you want to work a lot, it may be hard to be a certain type of parent. You cannot both be a perfect parent and a seamless worker. Something has to give. I see a lot of people coming in conflicted and not knowing where to draw the line, or wanting to have it all without realizing its emotional toll.”
Blackman notes that NYC women tend to feel this pressure to have it all the most. “[Women] with powerful jobs and children feel the burden of juggling and more guilt about priorities, etc., than men in the same position. Standards tend to be very high in both sexes, and you also see perfectionism in men who are seeking to be both wonderful fathers and primary breadwinners,” she says.