You’re a New Yorker. You are great. You know it, we know it. Unfortunately everyone outside of the Tri-State Area might not know it. Some of our GREATEST qualities (like our obsession with real estate and general disdain for anyone who gets in our way), while charming and completely normal to other people who live here, have been known to turn off the entire rest of the country. It’s not you, trust us. It’s definitely them. But just so we’re all on the same page, here are the things that will make you an asshole anywhere except New York City.
Asking about rent
It’s not that we’re being nosy. We just need to know if we’re getting more or less screwed than our friends... or coworkers... or that guy we sometimes see on the N/Q train.
Complaining about EVERYTHING but then doing it anyway
Exhibit 1: “I am NOT waiting two hours for brunch... ohhh but it’s bottomless, you say?”
Exhibit 2: “Why do we always have to do shit that is so expensive? I only have $42 in my bank account.” (But by the end of the night you’ve had two cocktails at Bua, dinner and a bottle of wine at Supper, and you’ve Uber’d yourself back to Astoria.)
Exhibit 3: “This city is the WORST. The weather sucks, my rent is too high, and everyone here is an asshole.” (But when your friends even consider moving somewhere else you question their sanity -- and your own, for ever choosing to hang out with them.)