The Bewildered Public Radio Diehard
Why they're there: She heard one of the earlier bands play a Tiny Desk Concert and thought they’d be pleasant to see live.
Where they came from: Beaumont Village
Commonly found at Project Pabst and Pickathon, this entry-level festival goer knows nothing about current music besides what’s spoon-fed to her by NPR and KBOO. All they wanted to do was check out The War on Drugs or Sufjan Stevens, but no one told them they’d have to reckon with an unwashed sea of drug-addled youths in the process. She’ll spend the majority of the weekend tucked away in her Subaru eating Kashi and doing crossword puzzles.
The Anti-Technology Crusader
Why they’re there: To fight the good fight of keeping concerts "pure" by smacking that smartphone out of your hand while you’re trying to get some footage to put on Instagram.
Where they came from: The last vestige of Old Portland in the Clinton/Division neighborhood.
Back in his day, it was nothing but beer and a lighter in the hands of real diehard festival goers, and it’s his job to assume the moral high ground by chastising anyone who’s in the way of his totally analog concert-going experience. In reality, he’s just an Android user who can’t seem to hang on to a phone that works well enough to take decent videos, which turned out to be a real bummer when Kraftwerk played at Keller Auditorium a few months ago.
Why they’re there: No one has any clue, actually.
Where they came from: Vancouver or Gresham.
A largely misunderstood bunch, Juggalos often keep their public interactions with mainstream humanity at large to a bare minimum. You’ll still see one here and there in the wild, however, and when you do, you’ll hope they're not there to see your favorite band. They’re usually just there to chug Faygo and give normal people dirty looks, but you’ll occasionally find them nodding in agreement with whatever hip-hop act the festival organizers threw on the bill to correct for Portland’s disturbing lack of music that’s not made by white dudes with guitars.