Skater dad told his ex-wife that taking the kids to a festival would be a great bonding experience, but he’s really just using them as an excuse to justify standing in a parking lot and showing off his new pair of Vans to a bunch of youngsters that aren’t even half his age who give the guy side eyes anyway.
The Disinterested Tween
Why they're there: Because her step dad got her and her friends some tickets in hopes that they’d think he’s cool.
Where they came from: Lake Oswego, West Linn, or some other part of unincorporated Multnomah County that’s filled with palatial abodes in the middle of the woods.
Despite her trendy soft-grunge look and her one friend with the septum piercing, the Disinterested Tween would much rather be in her basement in the suburbs listening to Lana Del Rey than eating pizza and posting one Snapchat story after another in a parking lot with a bunch of sweaty old dudes.