"I went to Corpus this weekend. The beach was amazing."
Translation: I'm a die-hard Selena fan -- and I visited her statue. I did not set foot on the beach.
"Let's meet up tonight! Should I walk to your place?"
Translation: My car is broken, and I have no money for Uber. Will you pick me up?
"So, what do you do?"
Translation: If you are affiliated with any career outside the military, medicine, or education, I will make it a point to enter a meaningless, circular conversation with you.
"I'm on a diet."
Translation: I'm down to eating breakfast tacos three to four times a week.