Congratulations, America: You've almost survived Election Season 2016. Sure, you stopped having sex entirely. You gave up porn. You even think "death by meteorite" is a better option than either candidate. But it's finally coming to an end. To help you safely get off this celibacy-inducing campaign trail, we dug up the answers to every thing you need to know to cast your vote tomorrow… and then find your way to a good cocktail that can help you forget this election season ever happened.
Am I registered?
Don't needlessly waste your valuable morning coffee time at the polls, only to find out you didn't actually remember to register. Check your registration status in advance. Like, now. Thankfully Texas makes it easy: Just check your voter registration online.
If you're not registered, well, it's too late. We're sorry you won't get to wear a sticker tomorrow that announces you perform your civic duties.
Where is my polling location?
Drop in your voter information to check where to cast your ballot tomorrow.
What do I need to bring to vote?
You have plenty of ID options in Texas: state driver's license, state ID card, military ID card, election ID certificate, US passport, US citizenship certificate, or state handgun license. Lacking any of those, you can sign a statement as to why you don't have an ID and instead bring in a utility bill, voter registration certificate, birth certificate, pay stub, government check, or other government document with your name on it.
When does my poll open?
If you're feeling extra patriotic, you can cast a vote at 7am and be in one of San Antonio's best coffee shops by 7:17am.
When does my poll close?
If your AM political commitments are limited to rewatching Alec Baldwin nail his Trump impressions, don't worry: You have until 7pm to vote. Grab a drink afterwards. You deserve it after this election season.