The Super-Spiritual Yogi
You don’t know a down dog from a crouching tiger, but now your pad is adorned with tapestries, smells like patchouli, and the furniture has been completely rearranged in the name of something called feng shui. He means well, but this guy’s concerns about your aura has you concerned that all the blood has rushed to his head since he spends more hours of the day standing on his hands than on his feet. His girlfriend’s pits are hairier than yours and she cries every time you cook meat in the house. They’re both on a cleanse right now, but he’s having a vegan potluck/drum circle at your house next week. You can bring the deviled “eggs.”
The Urban Farmer
Indoors your windowsills are full of herbs, a compost bin has appeared in your kitchen, and now your front yard is a vegetable garden, but hey, he’s saving you a fortune at the farmers' market so you’re not complaining. Although, his green thumb is about to get you both a black eye when the landlord sees that he tore out the expensive landscaping to make room for his lettuce patch.