Lifestyle

Downtown Seattle's 10 Best Places to Poop

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In what might be the number one comment in the history of Reddit, a super-helpful Seattle user who goes by “nipple_u_used_2_know” recently assembled a list of 20 public places where you might actually be willing to go number two when you're downtown. It’s incredibly helpful, but sometimes when you’re in a pinch, you need to know where to go NOW. So we went ahead and picked out the top 10. It's the least we could do-do.

SAM Olympic Sculpture Park

The fact you probably didn't even realize the art-filled promenade had restrooms ("cold but clean, no code needed") just proves he's mastered the art of picking places to do the deed.

Green Leaf Vietnamese Restaurant

This restaurant is in the old Labor Temple, so obviously the "clean and discreet" bathroom (down the stairs on the left) is the perfect place to put in work.

Marriott Waterfront

Having to go on the Great Wheel is just gonna make you feel... crappy. So before you get in line hit this nearby hotel -- the bathroom's by the bar.

Whole Foods

You'll feel a whole lot better hacking Whole Foods after a stop just past the customer service counter, on the right.

Washington State Convention Center

On the second, third, and fourth floors you'll find "private" bathrooms ostensibly reserved for conventioneers, but according to our expert "generally no one gives a shit" if you take a... well, you know.

Fairmont Olympic Hotel

Seattle's snootiest hotel won't want just anyone traipsing past the elevators to the "clean and discreet" bathrooms on the right, but as our source says "act like you belong and no one gives a damn about you."

Renaissance Seattle Hotel

You gotta take the elevator up to floor number two for your number two.

Columbia Center

And you thought it just had several Starbucks locations on floors throughout the tower, but no -- Seattle's tallest tower (for now?) also has multiple defecation locations, all of which are clean and quiet, and none of which require a code to use.

The Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park building...

... has restrooms on both the top and bottom floors (and exhibits about the gold rush, Woo!), but apparently the ones on the bottom are the best place to take care of business.

Pacific Place

Now that the bathrooms on Nordstrom's top floor require code access, your best bet in the downtown shopping core is probably the restroom on this shopping center's quieter third floor: they're usually crowded, but hey, at least like our language when we talk about poop, they're "sometimes clean."

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Bradley Foster is a former Thrillist editor who'd much rather drive all the way home than poop in public, but when he can't, a hotel lobby restroom is his number one choice for number two.